“Why’d you have to say that aloud?”
That’s what my husband asked me and I knew it the moment I said those words I should have kept them shut up inside my head.
Foolish mama, to say, “If I can just make it to mid-March, the rest of the year will be easy.”
It’s like painting a big target on yourself with a sign saying, “Please hit me HERE.”
Of course, my daughters carried home three different invitations to join this team and that club and this after-school activity that very week. And my tiniest girl comes to me with two birthday invitations.
That cathartic breath of victory, the kind you gasp in when you’ve crossed the finish-line of a suffocating race with your muscles screaming in pain and your head pounding, but you’re feeling accomplished—-that breath just got knocked right out of my breathless soul.
Why’d I have to go and say that aloud?
I pray out this whispered apology to God in my minivan:
“I’m just so sorry I’m rushing, sorry that 15 minutes of quiet in my car is the closest I get to really pouring it all out here with you, God. Please forgive me.”
It used to be…
In those pre-Mom days, I commuted at least an hour each way and amused all the New Jersey drivers as the woman talking to herself and singing in her Dodge Neon.
Every day, I spent two hours in prayer and worship.
I’m disciplining myself through Bible study and I’m grabbing every last second to flop down all exhausted at the feet of Jesus.
There are days when I’m panting like David:
O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;
My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water (Psalm 63:1 NASB).
I have been that dehydrated and parched.
This morning, I read it here:
In panic I cried out, “I am cut off from the Lord!” But you heard my cry for mercy and answered my call for help. Psalm 31:22
I have felt cut off from the Lord….Cut off from His presence. Cut off from that sweet intimacy of rambling conversations and long soul-talks with my Savior.
The Psalmist tells me God hears that cry for mercy and call for help.
And He answers.
I can dream about used to be’s or feel the heavy burden of failure and mourn the loss. No more two-hour-long ‘quiet’ times in my tiny commuter car.
But here’s the thing….I’m working harder than ever to be there with Him. Perhaps that’s even more precious to Him?
There’s this blessed reality, this beautiful Mom-life. The beauty of interrupted thoughts and sweet hugs, of digging seeds deep down in the fertile souls of these four babies.
Maybe I can’t slip away for hours of prayer, but it’s because I’ve got my hands sunk in the soil and God’s there with me, patting down the dirt, watering and weeding, pruning and tending this garden of my home.
I read this grace:
“God gives more in a moment than in a long period of time, for His actions are not measured by time at all… Know that even when you are in the kitchen, our Lord is moving among the pots and pans.” – St Teresa of Avila
There are moments when you don’t have time for long, wordy prayers to God. You’re in the trenches. You’re at the end of your rope. You’re in the middle of life and just can’t push the pause button….Simple prayers from a person whose heart is bent towards God can be just as powerful as the poetic prayers of David (Emily E. Ryan, Guilt-Free Quiet Times).
I think of Nehemiah, who prayed and fasted for months, but had this one moment of great need and wrote simply, “So I prayed to the God of heaven” (Nehemiah 2:4). Just one sentence. one quick prayer for help when he needed it most.
That’s what my prayers are like now.
Emily E. Ryan teaches me 5-Word Prayers to Whisper in the Moment (from Guilt-Free Quiet Times)
Not my will, but Yours.
Not my timing, but Yours.
Not my day, but Yours.
This week, as I pursue the presence of Christ by Praying Simply….I practice these 5-word prayers. Sometimes less. Sometimes little more than, “Help!!” or “Jesus!!” or “Have mercy on me!”
I wash the dish and pray thanks.
I make the bed and pray for my marriage.
I drive the minivan and pray for our activities.
I tie the shoes and pray for the feet that wear them.
I feel His presence as we work that soil and I remember that I’m ministering with Him, not apart from Him.
To read more about this 12-month journey of pursuing the presence of Christ, you can follow the links below! Won’t you join me this month as I focus on Praying Simply?
- Finding Room to Breathe: A 12-Month Pursuit of the Presence of Christ
- Why I’m Serving Up Spaghetti and Brownies for 3 Kings Day
- What My 3-Month-Old is Teaching His Mama
- Made it to the Bus with 30 Seconds to Spare
- How Pioneer Women Were Superheroes and Why I’m Baking Bread
- Pursuing His Presence: Because Being Still is Not Enough
- Does Prayer Really Have to Be That Complicated?
- Five Simple Ways to Remember to Pray for Others
- Will You Join Me in Prayer this Week?
Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer and worship leader. Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness. Her book, Ask Me Anything, Lord: Opening Our Hearts to God’s Questions, is available now! To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.
Copyright © 2014 Heather King