After having three girls, when I found out I was having a son, other moms chimed in with tons of wisdom.
They told me to be quick with the diaper changes or I’m bound to get peed on. (I did. At least twice.)
They told me to prepare for climbing, running, growling, and dirt (lots of it).
They told me no one would love me like a son, not ever. “It’s different than with a girl,” they said.
One mom told me how her son would cradle her face in his tiny palms and say, “You’re bootiful, Mommy.”
And another mom told me her son announced he was going to marry Mommy when he grew up. When she explained that Daddy had already married her, the little boy scowled and said “Dad is lucky.”
Mom after mom told me that no one treasured her as unconditionally or completely as her son had when he was little.
Then older moms started warning me. They still occasionally offer forebodings of doom.
“When you have a daughter, you have a friend for life,” they say, “but a son ditches you as soon as he finds a wife.”
I get it. “Leave and cleave.” I don’t want my son to be a stunted mama’s boy. I don’t want to break up his marriage by pitting myself against his wife or refusing to let go.
But I wouldn’t mind if he chooses a wife I could get along with or if he calls me once in a while. I wouldn’t mind a visit here and there and I’d hate it if he only hung out with ‘her’ family instead of sitting around our holiday table sometimes, too.
I’ve been enjoying this season with my son, loving and loving it.
I love train shirts and train toys and train books and conversations about trains.
I love airplanes and bulldozers and how we have to point out the fire trucks every time we walk past the fire station on Main Street.
I love making faces at him in the mirror and growling out funny voices.
I love toting along a few trucks everywhere we go.
I love superheroes.
This is my great joy.
But when other moms tell me to enjoy it now because I might as well kiss my son goodbye in a few years, I get more than a little sentimental and emotional.
And then I read Jacob’s blessing for his son, Benjamin:
‘Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders.” Deut. 33:12 NIV
I don’t know what may have your heart turning somersaults of fear instead of clinging to hope this week, but worries over my kids’ future surely does that to me.
But this verse offers me security and peace.
This isn’t the season for me of farewells or parenting adult children and worrying over their not-so-adult decisions at times.
This is my season of early morning snuggles on the sofa before everyone else awakes and making pancakes in the shape of Mickey Mouse.
It’s my season of listening to all of their news about their day at school, laughing at funny lunch escapades and wiping away tears when another girl gets mean.
It’s my season of bedtime hugs and bedtime stories.
And it’s my season of lifting children up….up into my arms, snuggled into my chest….up onto my shoulders, high so they can see, high so they can be carried and so they can rest.
That’s what God does for His beloved.
He lifts us right up out of the mess and the weariness and sets us between His shoulders and tells us to ‘rest.’
Don’t strive. Don’t fight. Don’t wear yourself out trying to keep moving forward on your own.
Let Him carry you.
High up there on the shoulders of our God, our perspective shifts.
STOP FRETTING ABOUT THE FUTURE.
LIFE DOESN’T DEPEND ON US TO FIX IT AND MAKE IT HAPPEN; OUR FUTURE DEPENDS ONLY ON HIM AND HE IS SO DEPENDABLE.
When we’re on God’s shoulders, we are safe from danger.
We can cease striving.
We see the big picture. All that trouble we were in below looks so small when He is lifting us up high.
So I choose to rest here with the Lord, enjoying safety, enjoying this season, enjoying His presence, enjoying being His beloved–handing over fear and holding on to hope.
Originally published October 28, 2015