Tag: Lysa TerKeurst

A Matter of Opinion: Breaking the Chains of People-Pleasing

10 Comments

I looked ridiculous.

Standing on my deck in sopping wet clothes, barefoot with no makeup and my hair still not fully dry from my shower, I sprayed down a bunch of blankets and clothes with my garden hose.

Yes, I watered my laundry.015

I had a reason of course.

It was cleaning day (so unlike I Love Lucy, I was not dressed in pearls and heels), and sometime during my normal routine, I realized that one load of laundry had been shushing around in the washer all morning….as in, it was just cycling round and round endlessly without ever draining the water and spinning the clothes.

So, I pulled every last piece of laundry out and hauled it all to the deck.  Water pooled all over my floor, soaking my socks and shoes, and I stripped them off and plopped them by the back door.  After I had yanked out every blanket and sock, I bailed out the washing machine by hand, first in buckets and eventually with a tiny plastic cup.

I was pretty proud of myself for successfully launching ‘Operation Rescue Clothing’ until I realized that everything I had just placed out in the sun to dry had been hauled out of soapy detergent water.

So, clearly I needed to rinse it before it dried.

With the hose.

Naturally.

What else to do . . . drag it all back in the house, flooding every room in the process, so that I could rinse everything out in the shower only to haul it all back outside?

So, I improvised.

After a minute or two of standing there with the hose spraying water on my laundry, I realized I looked (and felt) like a sponge that could have been wrung out.

And it occurred to me how embarrassing it would be if someone saw me out there, looking ragged and wet and watering my laundry instead of my veggies and flowers.

But I shrugged it off because it didn’t really matter what anyone thought of me.  The fact was that I had done what needed to be done.

And isn’t that the important thing?  .

Unfortunately, not to me, not all the time.  It’s not so simple for me to shrug off the opinions of others.

Yes, I could be a charter member of People-Pleasers Anonymous, and this could be my own personal prison, the chains that keep me doing what is expected but not what God intends.

In the end, though, I know the truth that could set me free: God’s opinion about us is all that matters.

But it’s a realization that’s so hard to hold  onto.  I understand, I agree, I know it all in my head.

Yet, the truth doesn’t root itself deep enough in my heart to break those chains of people-pleasing and appeasement right off my hindered soul.

Here, though, I pause in my Bible reading to consider what God said about King Hezekiah:

“He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord…” (2 Kings 18:3 ESV). 

The Message says it this way, “In God’s opinion he was a good king… (2 Kings 18:3 MSG).

In God’s eyes….in His opinion….

It’s God’s opinion that counts, that helps us put one foot solidly down on the ground after another, moving in the confident assurance that we are pleasing to Him.

In What Happens When Women Say Yes to God, Lysa TerKeurst writes:

God is the only one we should be living for, and we need His grace to handle the successes and the failures, the applause and the criticism, and everything in-between.  Sometimes our efforts will be fruitful and other times fruitless,  but as long as we please God, it’s all for good (p. 59).

John Bunyan wrote:

If my life is fruitless, it doesn’t matter who praises me, and if my life is fruitful, it doesn’t matter who criticizes me.

In Song of Solomon, the bride endured her brothers’ ridicule as they sent her out to labor in the fields. She begs the king, her beloved:  “Do not gaze at me because I am dark” (Song of Solomon 1:6).

That’s what she’d been told, the insults and judgments about her worth and beauty that had tainted her heart and mind.

But the king declares with love:

“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you” (Song of Solomon 4:7).

Others pointed out the flaws and others could have applauded her beauty.  Either way, she could have spent her whole life captive to the accolades, the pats on the back, the criticism, the naysayers, the insults, and the apathy.

But the King saw through eyes of love and grace and set her free.

This is all that matters for me, too—the opinion of my God, who looks with eyes of grace on me.

OBSBlogHop

Originally published as ‘A Matter of Opinion’, July 18, 2012

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  Her upcoming book, Ask Me Anything, Lord: Opening Our Hearts to God’s Questions, will be released in the Fall of 2013!  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2013 Heather King

Weekend Walk: 10/08/2011

Leave a comment

Hiding the Word:

Decisions, decisions.  It seems like I’m making so many of them lately.  Big ones with significant impact.  Little ones about my daughters taking ballet.  Yet, somehow they are all enough to send me to my knees, searching for God’s will and wisdom.

I’m comforted by the fact that if I mis-step, the Lord will lift me up.  It is God who orders my steps and who guides my way.

So, my verses for this week are:

The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD,
         And He delights in his way.
 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
         For the LORD upholds him with His hand.
Psalm 37:23-24

I hope you’ve picked a verse or two to meditate on this week and memorize!  We’d love to hear what your verse might be!

Weekend Rerun

Walking on the Smooth, Straight Road, Originally published 02/22/2011

“Love for God and obedience to God are so completely involved in each other that either one of them implies the other too.”
~F.F. Bruce~

“If you love me, keep my commands” (John 14:15, NIV).

Obedience is on my mind.  That’s partly because I’m a mom and I spend most of my every day giving commands for my kids to obey.  “Brush your teeth.  Get your lunch.  Don’t forget your homework.  Practice the piano.  Move faster.  Don’t run.” If you’ve never seen Anita Renfroe sing her William Tell Momisms, a quick listen will show you how most of my days sound.  If it’s been a while since you heard her sing this, treat yourself to another listen and a good laugh.

I’ve also been thinking about obedience, though, because since the start of this year, God has been gently compelling me to take new steps of obedience, to follow Him into some new areas, even though I don’t know if it will be “worth it,” or why it’s important for me to do these things.  I don’t understand; I’m just obeying.

As I’ve meditated on obedience, I’ve realized that healing, deliverance, blessing, and provision come as we obey—not before we obey.

When we hear God tell us what He wants to do, we could sit back and say, “Okay, God, I’ll totally give that after You provide” or “God, I’ll be happy to minister in that way after You deliver me from my pain.”  I’ve been telling Him I’ll obey after He gives me the time to do it or after He shows me whether what I am doing will matter.

That’s not how God works, though.

In Luke 11:11-17, we read about Jesus healing 10 lepers.   The men were outcasts of society, who cried out to Him to “have pity on us!  It says, “When he saw them, he said, ‘Go, show yourselves to the priests.’ And as they went, they were cleansed.”

At a recent women’s conference, Lysa TerKeurst emphasized how Jesus’s instructions were so strange.  Technically, these men weren’t supposed to leave the leper colony.  If they thought they were in remission, they were supposed to call for the priest and the priest would come to them.  Only when the priest verified that they were “clean” were they allowed to go back to the village.

Yet, Jesus told them to leave and go get the priest before anything had changed for them.  They weren’t healed yet.  The Bible says, “As they went, they were cleansed.”

Sometimes God tells us to obey even before we’ve seen the provision or the healing.   I love reading about families who are adopting and their testimonies are almost always the same.  God called them to adopt.  They were overwhelmed by the financial cost and they had no money to pay for it.  They pursued adoption anyway and God provided every penny at just the right time.

As they obeyed His call to adopt, God gave them the resources they needed.

As you obey God’s call to give, He will provide.  As you obey His call to minister, He will equip you.  As you obey His call to go, He will direct your path.

The blessing is in the going and in the obedience.  In Psalm 128:1, it says:  “All you who fear God, how blessed you are! how happily you walk on his smooth straight road!” We’re blessed when we are walking on the straight road that God has directed us to take.  Our blessing is not in sitting beside the road watching others go by.  Our blessing isn’t in trailblazing our own road, heading in the direction we choose.  It’s only when we are in motion and taking steps of obedience, that we are blessed.

As it says in Psalm 128:2, 4:  “Enjoy the blessing! Revel in the goodness! . . . Stand in awe of God’s Yes. Oh, how he blesses the one who fears God!” (MSG).

*************************************************************************************************************

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer for www.myfrienddebbie.com and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2011 Heather King

From the Inside Out

2 Comments

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
Hebrews 4:12, NIV

I like to pretend I’m perfect.  Not for my benefit, because I know I’m far from a perfect person, woman, wife, mom, ministry leader, friend . . .

Not with other people either because I truly believe that openness and vulnerability are the only way we can help one another through this thing called life.

I mostly like to pretend I’m perfect with God.  When I sit down for my quiet time, I rarely pray, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24 NIV).

Instead, I usually pray something like, “God, it’s so great to spend some time with You.  Please meet me here and teach me.  Encourage my heart.  I could really use some comfort and lifting up today.”  In other words, “Tell me You love me and are proud of me and promise me blessing.”

This week I’ve been writing about how God’s Word is His intimate and personal revelation of Himself, a testimony of God’s activity in people through history, His love letter to us, and our daily bread.  God’s Word is all those things.  It is where I go when I need encouragement, comfort, peace, and a reminder of His love and it’s totally okay to ask God for help when I need it.

But, God’s Word does one more thing.  It unsettles my heart.  It interrupts me and my “perfect” plans.  It calls me to account.  It bruises my ego sometimes.  As Lysa TerKeurst says, it “steps on my toes.”  It shines a light on the dark places of my heart and reveals the hidden sins.

Sure, I’d rather just pretend I’m perfect and ignore the quiet nudging of the Holy Spirit, but I’d be missing out on God’s plans for me.  In the vocabulary of child rearing, I’d be asking for perpetual positive reinforcement and never accepting discipline.   Getting gold stars on my spiritual behavior chart is fine.  Sometimes, though,  in order for me to grow more Christ-like and thus become a more usable vessel for God to work through, I need a “heavenly time out” or a “Holy Spirit grounding.”

That’s why I totally understand where Asa is coming from in 2 Chronicles 14-16.  Asa was a king of Judah who “did what was good and right in the eyes of the Lord” (2 Chronicles 14:2, NIV).  When the nation faced an enemy that was too powerful for them, Asa cried out to God.

God answered Asa’s desperate plea for help by totally routing the enemy.  Then, to further encourage Asa, God sent a prophet with an encouraging message:

The Lord is with you when you are with him.  If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you. . . But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your hard work will be rewarded (2 chronicles 15:2, 7 NIV).

I’d take that message from God any day!  Asa had gotten it right.  He was a good king with a heart for God.  When he needed rescue, he cried out to God and was saved.   As a result, God blessed him with encouragement and promises that he could hold onto in the tough times.

So far, so good.

Still, something happened in the later years of Asa’s reign.  He faced a new enemy and instead of asking for God’s help again, this time Asa did something that seemed totally logical.  He made a treaty with another king and they fought the enemy together.

So, God sent another prophet to Asa, this time with words that cut to the heart.  He said:

Because you relied on the king of Aram and not on the Lord your God, the army of the king of Aram has escaped from your hand . . . Yet when you relied on the Lord, he delivered them into your hand.  For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.  You have done a foolish thing, and from now on you will be at war ( 2 Chronicles 16:7-9 NIV).

Ouch.  Those aren’t feel-good words of encouragement for a hurting king.  Asa was totally willing to accept encouragement and God’s promises in the past, but he wasn’t so willing to accept conviction.  This time, “Asa was angry with the seer because of this; he was so enraged that he put him in prison” (2 Chronicles 16:10 NIV).

Later on in his reign, Asa became ill with a disease in his feet.  Scripture says that “Though his disease was severe, even in his illness he did not seek help from the Lord, but only from the physicians” (2 Chronicles 17:11 NIV).

Asa never accepted God’s discipline.  For the rest of his life, he placed his trust in himself or in other men, but he didn’t turn to God for help again—not even when his diseased body became a daily proof of his need for God’s rescue.

How we react to the conviction of God’s Word will determine God’s ability to use us. Maybe Asa could have defeated those enemies if he had asked for God’s help.  Maybe his kingdom could have been at peace through the rest of his reign if he had repented.  Instead, Asa chose a life of perpetual war and unending disease all because he couldn’t react to God’s Word with humble submission.

I don’t want to be like Asa, stubbornly clinging to my sin just because I don’t want to repent and respond to God’s convicting words.

In James 1:23, it says, “Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like” (NIV).  God’s Word should have a transformational power in our lives.  When He holds the mirror of His Word up for us and we see our sinful reflection, we shouldn’t ignore what we see and pretend we look perfect.  Instead, we should be willing to let Him give us a heart makeover.  It may hurt a bit and sting our pride.   Yet, when we allow God’s Word to change us from the inside out, we grow more and more like Christ and are better able to reflect His love to those around us.  When they look at us, they will see Him.

*********************************************************************************************************

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer for www.myfrienddebbie.com and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2011 Heather King

Walking on the smooth, straight road

2 Comments

“Love for God and obedience to God are so completely involved in each other that either one of them implies the other too.”
~F.F. Bruce~

“If you love me, keep my commands” (John 14:15, NIV).

Obedience is on my mind.  That’s partly because I’m a mom and I spend most of my every day giving commands for my kids to obey.  “Brush your teeth.  Get your lunch.  Don’t forget your homework.  Practice the piano.  Move faster.  Don’t run.” If you’ve never seen Anita Renfroe sing her William Tell Momisms, a quick listen will show you how most of my days sound.  If it’s been a while since you heard her sing this, treat yourself to another listen and a good laugh.

I’ve also been thinking about obedience, though, because since the start of this year, God has been gently compelling me to take new steps of obedience, to follow Him into some new areas, even though I don’t know if it will be “worth it,” or why it’s important for me to do these things.  I don’t understand; I’m just obeying.

As I’ve meditated on obedience, I’ve realized that healing, deliverance, blessing, and provision come as we obey—not before we obey.

When we hear God tell us what He wants to do, we could sit back and say, “Okay, God, I’ll totally give that after You provide” or “God, I’ll be happy to minister in that way after You deliver me from my pain.”  I’ve been telling Him I’ll obey after He gives me the time to do it or after He shows me whether what I am doing will matter.

That’s not how God works, though.

In Luke 11:11-17, we read about Jesus healing 10 lepers.   The men were outcasts of society, who cried out to Him to “have pity on us!  It says, “When he saw them, he said, ‘Go, show yourselves to the priests.’ And as they went, they were cleansed.”

At a recent women’s conference, Lysa TerKeurst emphasized how Jesus’s instructions were so strange.  Technically, these men weren’t supposed to leave the leper colony.  If they thought they were in remission, they were supposed to call for the priest and the priest would come to them.  Only when the priest verified that they were “clean” were they allowed to go back to the village.

Yet, Jesus told them to leave and go get the priest before anything had changed for them.  They weren’t healed yet.  The Bible says, “As they went, they were cleansed.”

Sometimes God tells us to obey even before we’ve seen the provision or the healing.   I love reading about families who are adopting and their testimonies are almost always the same.  God called them to adopt.  They were overwhelmed by the financial cost and they had no money to pay for it.  They pursued adoption anyway and God provided every penny at just the right time.

As they obeyed His call to adopt, God gave them the resources they needed.

As you obey God’s call to give, He will provide.  As you obey His call to minister, He will equip you.  As you obey His call to go, He will direct your path.

The blessing is in the going and in the obedience.  In Psalm 128:1, it says:  “All you who fear God, how blessed you are! how happily you walk on his smooth straight road!” We’re blessed when we are walking on the straight road that God has directed us to take.  Our blessing is not in sitting beside the road watching others go by.  Our blessing isn’t in trailblazing our own road, heading in the direction we choose.  It’s only when we are in motion and taking steps of obedience, that we are blessed.

As it says in Psalm 128:2, 4:  “Enjoy the blessing! Revel in the goodness! . . . Stand in awe of God’s Yes. Oh, how he blesses the one who fears God!” (MSG).

*************************************************************************************************************

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer for www.myfrienddebbie.com and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2011 Heather King