Tag: Lisa Harper

Weekend Rerun: How to Handle a Mean Girl

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Originally posted on September 26, 2011

Mean girls strike fear into the hearts of moms everywhere.  They certainly make this momma drop to her knees.

So when my daughter announced that she was choosing not to play with a girl at her school table, I pounced with mom questions.

“Well,” my daughter said, “when other people don’t do things the way she wants, she always says, ‘You can’t be my friend anymore.’  So, I told her that’s okay if she doesn’t want to be friends with me.”

Wow!  I was afraid of permanent devastation wrought at the hands of other children, and yet my daughter handled herself with quiet confidence.  It was the kind of answer I’ve been praying my daughter is able to give.

Praise God that He answers our prayers for our children.

But, it’s not just our kids who need to make decisions about friends, nay-sayers, judgers, and mockers.

In her book, Stumbling Into Grace, Lisa Harper writes:

“I want to recognize the dangerous, potentially biting characters in my story; the people who create constant emotional debris with their destructive personalities or who refuse to shed the skin of deception, the ones who threaten the God-with-me peace in my life.  I’m learning to keep my distance and to  pray for snakes, but not make a habit of getting down in the dirt to play with them” (p. 47).

In our lives, we’ll face some biting personalities and snakes in the grass ourselves–even when we are simply pursuing righteousness, just like Hannah in 1 Samuel.

Hannah was a Godly woman.  Religious law dictated that men must travel to the tabernacle three times a year to worship and sacrifice, but we see in 1 Samuel 1:7 that “year by year, she went up to the house of the Lord.”  She committed to going above and beyond the minimum requirements in order to worship God with her whole heart.

But his Godly woman had a personal pain that cut deep: She was childless while her husband’s second wife, Peninnah, was a bunny rabbit of a breeder.  Scripture doesn’t even count all her kids; it just says, “Peninnah . . and  . . . all her sons and daughters” (1 Samuel 1:4).  Sounds like quite a brood.

The worst part of it is that Peninnah gloated.  She boasted and preened.  She set herself up as Hannah’s rival and “provoked her severely, to make her miserable”  (1 Samuel 1:6).

Peninnah was a mean girl.

Sure, Hannah’s husband, Elkanah, loved her and was sad about her distress.  Still, there’s something kind of clueless about his compassion.

He said, “Hannah, why do you weep?  Why do you not eat?  And why is your heart grieved?  Am I not better to you than ten sons?” (1 Samuel 1:8).

Seriously?  He didn’t tell Peninnah to knock off the nastiness.  Instead, he told Hannah just to get over it. Be happy with the fact that she shared a home and husband with a woman who had annual baby showers.  Just shrug off Peninnah’s provoking ways and be content with her husband’s love.

Elkanah was an unhelpful friend.  He didn’t stand up for Hannah, didn’t have her back, and didn’t understand her pain.

Then there was Eli, the priest who watched Hannah’s impassioned prayer at the altar.  He pounced on her in a second, saying, “How long will you be drunk? Put your wine away from you!” (1 Samuel 1:14).

Eli was the judgmental onlooker.  The one with all the opinions who doesn’t even take time to fully understand the situation, just makes accusations and spews forth a diatribe of assumptions and personal attacks.

Beset on every side by those close to her and those in spiritual authority over her, Hannah nevertheless responded with grace.

She spoke “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). She didn’t rebel against Eli, speak badly about him behind his back, or cause a ruckus in the spiritual community, despite the fact that he hurt her.  Instead, she answered calmly, “No, my lord.  I am a woman of sorrowful spirit.  I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord” (1 Samuel 1:15).

She trusted God to take care of her.  Hannah “was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish” (1 Samuel 1:10).  She took all of her pain to the altar and poured her soul out before God and left it in His hands.

After she held the baby boy God gave her, after she nursed him and weaned him and presented him to the tabernacle, she declared, “For the Lord is the God of knowledge; And by Him actions are weighed” (1 Samuel 1:3).

By Him actions are weighed.  God saw the mocking cruelty of Peninnah, the cluelessness of Elkanah, and the pompousness of Eli.  And he saw Hannah’s brokenness and blessed her.

We likewise can trust God to help us when we face mean girls, unhelpful friends, and those who judge us.  He will show us how to love our enemies and pray for those who hurt us and He will tell us how to avoid the venomous bites of the snakes in the grass.

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer for www.myfrienddebbie.com and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2012 Heather King

Weekend Walk, 11/05/2011–Celebrating Thanksgiving

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Hiding the Word:

For those reading Lisa Harper’s book, Stumbling Into Grace, along with my small group, today’s memory verse will match up with chapter 11, “Empathizing With Enemies.

In her book, Lisa Harper writes, “We can become less critical by choosing to focus on the whole of other people’s stories as opposed to one irritating chapter” (p. 129).

It’s so easy, too easy really, to judge others.  That they’re flaky.  They made a bad decision.  They’re sinful.  They’re a mess. They’re rude, impatient, annoying . . .

Whatever.

We’re generally just masses of human opinion waiting to jump on a soapbox at the slightest provocation.

I’m so thankful God has so much more grace for us than we have for each other.

So, this week, our verse is a reminder to love one another.  After all, God has shown an awful lot of love to us.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8

Celebrating Thanksgiving:

Well, my faithful blog readers, normally in this weekend space I’d be sharing with you a rerun of a post from the past.

But, I just can’t contain my excitement about Thanksgiving.  It’s far and away my most favorite holiday.  This mystifies my children, who cannot understand how a turkey dinner can compete with Christmas presents.

Yet, there it is.  The month-long inspiration to give thanks, the emphasis on family, the traditions of spending time together in the kitchen baking—it’s yummy to my very soul!!

So, when I thought about how to spill some of my Thanksgiving excitement over to you all, I decided to take one post a week in November and share some ideas on how to make my favorite holiday truly a celebration for your family.  Some of these ideas will work well with kids and grandkids.  Some don’t need anybody but you in order to participate.

I sure would love to hear your traditions and thoughts on this, too!  So, I hope you’ll hop on here and post your ideas about making Thanksgiving special.  What traditions does your family enjoy?  What’s your favorite Thanksgiving recipe and your favorite reason to be thankful?

The Thanksgiving Journal

 Remember the wonders he has done,
   his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced (Psalm 105:5)

So many of us go around the table each Thanksgiving day and say “one thing you’re thankful for . . . other than family.”

But it’s hard to remember year after year what that one special bit of Thanks was about.

And sometimes we really need a record of gratitude so we can indeed “remember the wonders He has done” (Psalm 105:5).

So, this year, I’m taking an idea from Focus on the Family’s magazine, “Thriving Family” in their Oct/Nov 2011 article “Turn Turkey Day into Thanksgiving.”

Create a family Thanksgiving journal.  This can be a blank spiral bound journal or even a notebook with pages that you insert year after year.  On Thanksgiving day, take the time as a family to list off the blessings and answered prayers from God that year.  Be specific.  Truly consider what God has done.

List your thanks into your family journal and say a prayer of gratitude.

For the ardent scrapbookers among you, add pictures and decorate the pages so the book of thanks becomes a true family keepsake.

Or, keep it simple!  The important thing isn’t the artistic value; it’s the giving thanks that matters.

The next Thanksgiving, pull out the very same journal and look through the reasons to give thanks from years past before adding to the list for the new year.  Over time, this Thanksgiving journal will be a record of blessing, answered prayers, and gifts from God, a way of remembering all that He has done.

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer for www.myfrienddebbie.com and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2011 Heather King

How Was Your Day?

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For those reading Lisa Harper’s book, Stumbling Into Grace, along with my small group, today’s devotional will match up with her tenth chapter, “Busyness Isn’t a Spiritual Gift.”

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“How was your day?”

My husband asks me that every evening as we chat on the phone while he commutes home from work.

It used to be easier to answer.  How was my day?  Well, it seemed mostly dependent on work.  What jobs I did that day, what doctors had I transcribed for, how difficult the task was, how productive I had managed to be, and how well I had juggled working from home with being a mom.

But now it’s more difficult to respond.  Do I share my excitement over the homemade bread recipe I discovered or the smell of the from-scratch spaghetti sauce bubbling away in the crock-pot?  Does vacuuming count as an accomplishment?  What about how much I saved at the grocery store with my coupons or how many socks I matched and folded?

And beyond that, relationally how was my day?  How many squabbles did I break up between my daughters?  How many lessons did I teach, conversations did I have, kisses did I bestow, Barbies did I undress and dress?

And beyond even that, without any way to measure my productivity at all, could my day still be a success?  How do you value listening on the phone to a hurting friend or spending  extra time at my kitchen table digging into God’s Word?

There’s a simple slide into a works-based life where measurable productivity is all that matters.  Where our success and value becomes dependent on the items crossed off our to-do list.

It’s the pitfall for working moms, the trap for single women in the workforce, and the snare of stay-at-home moms whose identity becomes tangled up with their children and the cleanliness of their home.

We all fall in the pit some time.

In her book, Stumbling Into Grace, Lisa Harper reminds us that God “cares far more about the posture of our hearts than our productivity.  Even “good” things can become the enemy of God’s best for us” (p. 114).

That doesn’t mean busyness is sin.  If you have a job, or a ministry, or a husband, or kids—any of those or all of the above—chances are you’re busy.  Chances are you get tired sometimes.

We have a way of judging that in the church.  “If you’re tired, it means you aren’t doing what God called you to do.”  “If you’re worn out, it’s because you’re not relying enough on God’s joy.”  “If you just lead the simple life, you’d be fine.”

Jesus didn’t throw those judgmental millstones around the neck of the disciples.  He commissioned them for activity, sending them out for weeks of uncomfortable, on-foot missionary traveling to towns where they weren’t always well-received (Luke 9).

Were they busy?  Yes, absolutely.  Every day they moved to another place to tell others about Jesus, sleeping in who knows what conditions and eating anything they were offered.

Were they doing God’s will?  Surely they were.  Jesus had sent them out with specific instructions about what to take with them and what to do on their journey.

Were they traveling alone?  No!  They went out in pairs so that they had the support and encouragement of a Christ-following companion.

They did everything right, and yet they were tired.  When they returned home from their journey, “Jesus took them away, off by themselves, near the town called Bethsaida” (Luke 9:10, MSG).

He knew they needed time away.  Alone time with Jesus.  That’s what we need to refresh our busy souls also.

But first we also ask ourselves—are we doing God’s will?  Here we pause.

The Lord promised, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28), but if we just keep throwing on the same burdensome loads, we’ll never feel truly rested.  That’s the weighed-down fatigue we choose when we do and do and do rather than obeying Him when He tells us to act and obeying when He asks us to rest.

Oswald Chambers wrote:

An active Christian worker too often lives to be seen by others, while it is the innermost, personal area that reveals the power of a person’s life.

We must get rid of the plague of the spirit of this religious age in which we live.  In our Lord’s life there was none of the pressure and the rushing of tremendous activity that we regard so highly today, and a disciple is to be like His Master.  The central point of the kingdom of Jesus Christ is a personal relationship with Him, not public usefulness to others

The bottom line question for us remains, “Are we doing God’s will?” God alone can determine the value of our day, the need for productivity at times versus the requirement of rest in other seasons.

If He has told you to rest, are you resting?  If He has asked you to work, are you working?  Are you serving in the ministries to which you are called and caring for your family in the way He has instructed?

Others might glance at your calendar and think, “She’s too busy” or “She’s such a slacker.”  The only One who really knows, though, is the One who commissions us and then offers us the rest we need exactly when we need it.

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer for www.myfrienddebbie.com and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2011 Heather King

Weekend Walk, 10/22/2011

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For those reading Lisa Harper’s book, Stumbling Into Grace, along with my small group, today’s weekend rerun will match up with her ninth chapter, “Who’s Got Your Back?” and today’s memory verse will match up with her tenth chapter, “Busyness Isn’t a Spiritual Gift.”

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Hiding the Word

Life has been a bit crazy and fast-paced at our house recently, full of busyness, activity, and constant motion.  So I’m choosing a verse to meditate on this week that refreshes me and reminds me that God is in control of all things, even the situations that wake me in the middle of the night.

 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
   I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 46:10

Remember that we’re choosing just one verse to post up around our house, to memorize and meditate on for one week at a time.  I hope you chose a great verse for this week!

Weekend Rerun

Pray For Us, Part I, originally published 5/23/2011

You can read Part II of this post here.

“Finally, brothers, pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you”
2 Thessalonians 3:1

Bible Study time done, the group started sharing prayer requests.  Please pray.  Please pray.  Please pray, we ask one another.  For my friend.  For my child.  For my husband.  For my coworker.

For me.

Dialoguing with myself silently there at the table, I jotted down the requests of others and thought, “mine seems so silly, so selfish, so small.  Haven’t I prayed for myself already?”

Surely I had.  Not more than one hour before sitting down at that table to teach others, I had been face-to-face with my carpet, not just on my knees, but prostrate before God.  All stretched out before His throne in humble need (hoping my children didn’t come searching for me and find Mommy on the floor).  Not for cancer.  Not for death.  Not for brokenness.  For a string of bad days, for lack of sleep, for a husband who was away, for knowing that I felt far too ill-equipped to teach anyone from God’s Word that night.  What else to pray, but “help me, God!” and to tell Satan to get lost—in Jesus’s name, of course.

Yet, knowing full well that it matters when others pray for us, that the combined power of saints on their knees works in ways that my private prayers do not, I shared my tiny need with the group of ladies gathered at the table.  “I need the rest of this week to get better.  I need my children to sleep and not wake up grumpy, whining and so quick to fight with each other.  I need no more animal mishaps like 30 of my fish dying from some freak thermostat disaster.  We’ve had such a rough start; please pray for us.”

We prayed.  I went home, chased children around the house with pajamas and toothbrushes, climbed into bed all weary myself.  The next morning I woke up for the first time in months, not to the sound of a child, but just because of morning sunlight.  I awoke to a day that got better and better and a week no longer plagued with sleeplessness and stress.  I awoke to notes from friends and family saying they were praying for me.

We prayed.  God answered.

How often have you sat in your small group, though, looked around at Christians you love and you trust, and not shared your prayer need?

Because you were afraid to share the request you have, maybe even ashamed and embarrassed.
Because everyone’s prayer requests seemed so much bigger than yours.
Because it seemed so selfish to ask for prayer for yourself and much more acceptable to ask on behalf of others.

Remember these things:

We Need Others to Pray for Us

Paul poured out prayers in his letters to the churches, that they would understand the love of God, know His will, and persevere in the midst of trials.  To the Thessalonians, he wrote: “We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers” (1 Thessalonians 1:2).  Then, he asked for their prayers in return, “Finally brothers, pray for us, that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you” (2 Thessalonians 3:1).

There is no question that Paul himself was praying for the effective spread of the Gospel; nevertheless, he requested those same prayers from others.  He knew that corporate prayer has power and the unified petitions of the saints have impact.  So, praying in your own home and in your own car is good and necessary, but you should not be ashamed, embarrassed, or reluctant to call for backup and enlist the prayer support of others.  It is part of the giving and receiving that we do in the Body of Christ.  “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16).

In some ways, Paul was giving the Thessalonian church a gift.  He invited them into ministry partnership with Him, asking them to pray for him and his missionary team as they traveled and shared the Gospel.  We give each other a gift when we invite others into prayer partnership with us.  They now have a part in healing marriages, restoring broken relationships, shepherding wayward children, defeating disease, leading ministries, and redeeming finances.  Not in their own strength, but because they intercede before God on our behalf.  They struggle in prayer and wrestle the Enemy and receive victory in partnership with us.

There are times when our friends must carry us to Jesus, paralyzed as we are like the man in Capernaum.  He could have lain their unable to move and simply hoped that Jesus would notice him on the outskirts of the crowd, but the needs were many and the mob of people overwhelming.  Instead, four friends carried him to Jesus, parting the crowds as best they could and then climbing up on the roof and lowering him down to Jesus’s feet (Mark 2:1-5).  We need friends with such faith, friends who will bring us to Christ’s sandaled toes and request healing for what paralyzes us.

Do you have someone to pray for you and with you?  It could be a small group or it could be one faithful praying friend.  Seek that out so that you do not battle the bad days or the life crises alone.

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Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer for www.myfrienddebbie.com and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2011 Heather King

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?: Part II

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For those reading Lisa Harper’s book, Stumbling Into Grace, along with my small group, today’s devotional will match up with her eighth chapter: “The Bride Who Tripped Down the Aisle”

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“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me” (Psalm 52:12).

My first grader brought home a book from school to read over the weekend.  For two days she followed me around the house giggling uncontrollably and reading me her favorite sections aloud.

“Mom, listen to this,” (she’s giggling already).  “This kid just said George Washington was in his underwear.  He said underwear!!!”

“Isn’t this hil-ar-i-ous, Mom?  It says this kid put carrots up his nose and then he ate them!”

She could barely control herself on that one.  Left to her own devices, she’d probably have spent a half an hour in hysterics on the living room floor.

It’s not humor I could understand.  Me, I’m more of a Marx Brothers kind of girl.

In Part I of this post, I wrote that “we Christians should have a joy that people who don’t know Christ just don’t get.”  It’s just as mysterious to them as my daughter’s humor is to me.

Certainly this incomprehensible joy comes from the goodness of our message, the very Gospel of grace itself.  When life weighs us down with its humdrum dailyness, we must remember the great news we have received and that we share with the world.  It’s reason enough for joy in every situation.

Yet, while we always have reason for joy, life isn’t always joy-full.

God never commands us to paste on perfect happy faces to convince the world that Christians never suffer hurt or sorrow.  It’s a deception Christ Himself never engaged in.  He cried out, He asked others to pray with Him, He wept, and He suffered pain.  He assured us that this earth is a place of trouble.

Yet, Peter wrote:

Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world ( 1 Peter 4:13).

Does it sound like impossible truth? Being joyful in trials because God will be glorified?  If we’re honest, often our prayers are more for our comfort and relief rather than for God’s glory.

So, was Peter a guy who preached impossible things that he never put into practice himself?  No, not Peter.

His ministry had never been more powerful or full of impact.  He and the other apostles were spreading the Gospel message and people were responding in droves.  Their reputation for miracles spread, so the crowds lined the streets with the sick hoping that Peter’s shadow would fall on them as he walked by and they would be healed (Acts 5).

Reason to have joy?  I’ll say!  Wouldn’t you be celebrating such ministry success?

Yet, full of jealousy, the Sanhedrin and religious leaders imprisoned Peter and the other apostles. After hearing Peter’s astounding defense, the court determined to have him killed, but not immediately.  For now, he and the other apostles were flogged and turned away . . . only to be martyred at a more opportune time.

Acts 5:41-42 tells us, “The apostles left the high council rejoicing that God had counted them worthy to suffer disgrace for the name of Jesus. And every day, in the Temple and from house to house, they continued to teach and preach this message: “Jesus is the Messiah.”

Peter didn’t just preach joy in all situations.  He lived it.

He had joy because of the message he had to share: Jesus is the Messiah!

He had joy because he knew that every trial was “for the name of Jesus.”

It’s not that God rejoices in our suffering, but instead His grace for us, the way He brings us through trials and redeems us from the pits we find ourselves in, the way He carries us through the fire and out the other side of the furnace—it all brings Him glory.  It shows the world that our God is faithful, powerful, mighty to save, and merciful to save us.

This outlook requires continual perspective adjustment.  We remember what matters in eternity.  We consider what will bring God glory.

That’s how the Christians described in Hebrews, “suffered along with those who were thrown into jail, and when all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy.  You knew there were better things waiting for you that will last forever” (Hebrews 10:34).

We likewise know that the eternal is what truly matters and that God’s glory is our ultimate goal.

Still, just being honest, that doesn’t make most of us want to kick our heels and break into song when we’re facing trials.  It’s theologically sound, but practically difficult.

Is it any wonder, then, that the Psalmist has to plea for God’s help with this?  David wrote, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me” (Psalm 52:12).

That is our prayer also.  “Lord, we ask that You restore our joy.  Help us to recall the excitement about Your Gospel of grace.  In all circumstances, help us to submit to Your plans for us, because that is what will strengthen us and sustain us.  We rejoice that You will be glorified and we ask that You will work in each situation we face so that we can give a testimony to the world of Your power and Your love.  Amen”

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer for www.myfrienddebbie.com and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2011 Heather King

Kissing Cornelius

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For those reading Lisa Harper’s book, Stumbling Into Grace, along with my small group, today’s devotional will match up with her seventh chapter: “Getting Our Squeeze On”

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Our community theater group chose Hello, Dolly! as the fall musical this year. Over the summer, I rented the movie so we could hear the songs and learn the story.

While I love the play, the movie is terrible.  Still, my daughters loved the film. They specially requested it several times a week until I finally returned the DVD, much to their disappointment. (Other kids may be watching Spongebob and Phineas and Ferb.  My girls watch musicals from the 1960’s.)

They can now sing the songs and know every character’s name, despite the ridiculous sound of each moniker: Cornelius Hackl.  Barnaby Tucker.  Horace Vandergelder.

Not exactly John Smiths, these guys.

My daughters took a particular liking to Cornelius Hackl, the 33-year-old store clerk who wants to head off to New York City, fall in love and kiss a girl.

There’s no question who was the most excited to hear that my husband was chosen to play Cornelius.  He was pleased.  Our daughters were overjoyed.  His two biggest fans jumped all over the living room and cheered.

I reminded them that of all the parts in this play, Cornelius is the only guy who might have to kiss another girl–as in a girl who is not me.

“How would you feel about that?,” I asked them.

“That’s okay,” my oldest daughter assured me, “Daddy kisses you all the time.  Like every single morning and when he comes home from work, too.”

Thanks for the support!

Still, it reminded me that how my husband and I interact is a model for our daughters.   This doesn’t just matter now when they need the assurance of a stable home.

It doesn’t just matter in their future, when their own marriages may depend on what we modeled for them.

It really matters eternally.

God makes it clear in Scripture that marriage is an earthly representation of God’s covenant relationship with His own people.  Paul tells husbands to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).  Jesus calls Himself the bridegroom and Revelation 19 describes the marriage supper of the Lamb in heaven.

That means that our love for one another should reflect Christ’s love.  People should look at our marriages and see God’s love in action.  My daughters should look at our marriage and see God at the center.  How we treat each other should make them desire a relationship with Jesus.

So, do we look like we’re loving one another?

Not just in marriages, but also in our churches and small groups and family lunches at Wendy’s after church . . . do we act loving?

And beyond that, with those outside our inner circle, people who may seem “less than,” those that our downcast, the hurting, people who annoy us a bit and who wear us out a lot, and the faces we’d prefer not to see in the Wal-Mart . . . do we act loving?

Jesus’ healings were rarely cold, distant, impersonal and non-physical.  When Jesus healed, it was usually with action, with physical touch that dramatically broke the barriers of clean/unclean, spiritual/not spiritual, holy/unholy.

Lisa Harper notes that Jesus:

intentionally used tactile methods—hugging a leper, placing His hands on a crippled woman’s spine—in most of His healing miracles.  When the disciples tried to keep little children from interacting with Jesus  . . . the Lamb of God beckoned them to pile onto His lap (Mark 10:13-16).

When Jesus healed the man who had been blind from birth, He once again demonstrated love in unmistakable, physically apparent ways (John 9:1-11).

The disciples pointed to the begging man and asked a theological trick of a question.  Whose sin caused the man’s blindness—his or his parents’?

These 12 guys saw a doctrinal conundrum.  Jesus saw a sick man.

So, Jesus healed him.  Not just with words, though.  The Savior of the World made it clear that He loved this man enough to touch him, to get down in the dirt with him (literally) and to meet his very real need.

Jesus stooped down, made a mud pack, and put it on the man’s eyes.  Then He sent the man away to wash in the Pool of Siloam.  The man, blind from the moment of his birth, could now see.

You couldn’t ever miss Jesus’ love.  Even if He had to stoop low to love another, He did.  Even if it involved getting dirty or if the crowd thought someone was unlovable, dirty, sinful, or unimportant, still Jesus showed love.

People in the back row of the crowd never wondered, “Does Jesus love that person?”  If you looked His way during a miracle, you saw love in action—all the way to the cross.

So, when people glance our way, do they see the same?  Can our kids look at our marriages and identify love?  Can strangers at the restaurant watch us and see love?  Can a visitor to our church see love from the greeter at the door, to the nursery worker and the Sunday School teacher, the pastor and the pianist?

They shouldn’t see just any love either, certainly not superficial, emotional, feeling-directed fluff, the kind that shakes hands and smiles, but never touches what’s broken or brings healing to the hurting.

Instead, they should see Christ’s action-filled, sacrificial, unconditional, healing, reach-out-and-touch someone love and they should be so amazed by it, that they want to experience it themselves.

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer for www.myfrienddebbie.com and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2011 Heather King

Thanks for Everything

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For those reading Lisa Harper’s book, Stumbling Into Grace, along with my small group, today’s devotional will match up with her fifth chapter: “Cat Appreciation Day”

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“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV)

There I was, sitting at the cafeteria table with my kindergartener.  When she had seen me in the hallway on the way to lunch, she grinned and waved so hard that her arm propelled her whole body into swaying back and forth.  Now, here we were munching away at peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and drinking lemonade together in the middle of her school day.

And I was thankful.

Thankful for a school that allows me to pop in to have lunch with my kids in between their math lessons and their reading time.

Thankful that my daughter grinned when she saw me.  Thankful that my first grader introduced me to all her friends.  Thankful that I got a hug and a big kiss from each of my older girls. Thankful that, for the moment at least, Mom isn’t too embarrassing and kissing her cheek in public hasn’t become “uncool.”

Thankful that kids all around the cafeteria waved at us.  Thankful that my daughters have found and chosen such great friends, knowing that who they play with on the playground and sit with at lunch makes a difference.

So very thankful.

Not that everything in my life is perfect and I live carefree, without worries or problems.  But if we are only grateful in the perfect moments, we’ll never give thanks at all.

We train our kids before they can even repeat after us to say “thank you” every time we hand them the graham cracker or the cup of juice.  It’s one of those universal mom techniques that somehow we all know how to do even though it isn’t written down in a parenting manual.

Hand child cracker. Tell child, “Say ‘thank you!'”

What cracker has God handed you lately?  Have you heard Him prompt your heart for a thankful response?

Sometimes we begrudge the praise He expects.  Sometimes we make our worship come with strings attached.

I’ll give thanks—sure, when His gift is sufficient for my need.  This cracker isn’t enough to sustain me or satisfy me.

I’ll give thanks—sure, when He cleans up all of the messes and spills around me and I can sit and enjoy this outstretched cracker without distraction, fear, worry or messy troubles on my right or left.

Yet, there is power in gratitude, in contentment, and in trusting the God who always gives good gifts.

Not power in vague thankfulness and the sweeping praise of generalities, though. Not quoting Paul who was ” always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,” and agreeing to be thankful but never saying why.

Ann Voskamp in One Thousand Gifts said, “I discover that slapping a sloppy brush of thanksgiving over everything in my life leaves me deeply thankful for very few things in my life” (p. 40).

Yes, and it is the deep thanks, the specific and the named gratitude, that transforms.

It transforms us.

Giving thanks makes Daniels out of us, people of consistent prayer, going before the throne over and over through our every day and thanking Him.  Just like Daniel, who “three times a day  . . . got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before” (Daniel 6:10).

Before the issuing of an evil decree written specifically for Daniel’s destruction . . . he prayed and gave thanks.  After the decree . . . he prayed and gave thanks.

Giving thanks for him was never circumstantial.

Gratitude transforms something else, too.  It turns the insufficient into sufficiency.  It alters our circumstances.

When Jesus stood on a hillside surrounded by more than 5000 people, He could have denied God praise.  Weren’t these men with their families out in the country for a good reason?  Hadn’t they come to hear the teachings of Christ?  Hadn’t they patiently listened all day? And now it was late and they had nothing to eat and nowhere to go for food.

Jesus fingered a lunchbox with loaves and fish and eyed the hungry crowd before Him.

Was the gift God had given enough?

Not in the slightest.

And yet Jesus lifted the basket high and “gave thanks” (John 6:11) and suddenly there was a feast that fed the thousands on the hillside and included leftovers.

Ann Voskamp says, “Jesus embraces His not enough . . . He gives thanks . .  And there is more than enough.  More than enough!  Eucharisteo (giving thanks) always, always precedes the miracle” (p. 51).

We don’t give thanks after the miracle.  Sometimes our miracle depends on our giving thanks.

So when God hands us a cracker, we don’t remind Him of the three-course meal we asked for; we thank Him for the gift He’s offered.  We insist that our heart be content.

We express praise, true and heartfelt, for a God who sees our need and responds with grace and generosity.  In so doing, we express to Him that we trust His gift-giving and act on the belief that “your heavenly Father knows that you need them” (Matthew 6:32).

For what are you thankful today?  Don’t just nod and offer the two-second prayer, “Thanks for everything.”   Think hard.  Dig deep.  Be specific.

And give thanks.

Thanking God for shared lunches, for tea parties, for evenings at home, for knitting, for cozy sweaters and cool fall sweater-weather.

If there is one book I could encourage you to read (other than your Bible) this year (and I’ve been busy reading many), it’s Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts.  Please don’t miss out on reading this one.

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer for www.myfrienddebbie.com and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2011 Heather King

How to Handle a Mean Girl

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For those reading Lisa Harper’s book, Stumbling Into Grace, along with my small group, today’s devotional will match up with her fourth chapter: “No Fangs Allowed.”

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Mean girls strike fear into the hearts of moms everywhere.  They certainly make this momma drop to her knees.

I’ve begun praying once a week with some other moms for our kids and their school.  As we’ve prayed together, I’ve discovered that we moms share the same concerns for our kids.  We pray for their academics, sure, but mostly we pray for their hearts.

We pray they will be a light in dark places and that they will choose good friends.  We ask that our kids will not be too sensitive and will know how to respond in tough situations.

So when my daughter announced this weekend that there was a girl at her school table that she chose not to play with, I pounced with my mom questions.

“Well,” my daughter said, “when other people don’t do things the way she wants, she always says, ‘You can’t be my friend anymore.’  So, I told her that’s okay if she doesn’t want to be friends with me.”

Wow!  Here I was afraid of permanent devastation wrought at the hands of other children and my daughter handled this with calm grace and confidence. She knew that friendship is too valuable to use as manipulative weaponry in the social arsenal.

It was the kind of answer I’ve been praying my daughter is able to give.  Praise God that He answers our prayers for our children.

But, it’s not just our kids who need to make decisions about whom to befriend or how to answer detractors, nay-sayers, judgers, and mockers.

In her book, Stumbling Into Grace, Lisa Harper writes:

“I want to recognize the dangerous, potentially biting characters in my story; the people who create constant emotional debris with their destructive personalities or who refuse to shed the skin of deception, the ones who threaten the God-with-me peace in my life.  I’m learning to keep my distance and to  pray for snakes, but not make a habit of getting down in the dirt to play with them” (p. 47).

In our lives, we’ll face some biting personalities and snakes in the grass ourselves–even when we are simply pursuing righteousness, just like Hannah did in 1 Samuel.

Hannah was a Godly woman.  Religious law dictated that men must travel to the tabernacle three times a year to worship and sacrifice, but we see in 1 Samuel 1:7 that “year by year, she went up to the house of the Lord.”  She committed to going above and beyond the minimum requirements in order to worship God with her whole heart.

But, this Godly woman had a struggle, a personal pain that cut deep.  She was childless while her husband’s second wife, Peninnah, was a bunny rabbit of a breeder.  Scripture doesn’t even count all her kids; it just says, “Peninnah . . and  . . . all her sons and daughters” (1 Samuel 1:4).  Sounds like quite a brood.

The worst part of it is, that Peninnah gloated.  She boasted and preened.  She set herself up as Hannah’s rival and “provoked her severely, to make her miserable”  (1 Samuel 1:6).

Peninnah was a mean girl.

But it wasn’t just Peninnah who was the problem.  There was also Hannah’s husband, Elkanah.  He truly loved Hannah and he was sad about her distress.

Still, there’s something kind of clueless about Elkanah’s compassion.  He said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep?  Why do you not eat?  And why is your heart grieved?  Am I not better to you than ten sons?” (1 Samuel 1:8).

Seriously?  He didn’t tell Peninnah to knock off the nastiness.  Instead, he told Hannah, the innocent one, to just get over it. Just be happy with the fact that she shared a home and husband with a woman who had annual baby showers when she herself could not get pregnant.  Just shrug off Peninnah’s provoking ways and be happy with her husband’s love.

Elkanah was an unhelpful friend.  He didn’t stand up for Hannah, didn’t have her back, and wasn’t concerned with the true depth of her pain.

Then there was Eli, the priest who watched Hannah’s impassioned prayer at the altar.  He pounced on her in a second, saying, “How long will you be drunk? Put your wine away from you!” (1 Samuel 1:14).

Eli was the judgmental onlooker.  The one with all the opinions who doesn’t even take time to fully understand the situation, just makes accusations and spews forth a diatribe of assumptions and personal attacks.

Beset on every side by those close to her and those in spiritual authority over her, Hannah nevertheless responded with grace.

She spoke “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). She didn’t rebel against Eli, speak badly about him behind his back, or cause a ruckus in the spiritual community, despite the fact that he hurt her.  Instead, she answered and said, “No, my lord.  I am a woman of sorrowful spirit.  I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord” (1 Samuel 1:15).

She trusted God to take care of her.  Hannah “was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish” (1 Samuel 1:10).  She took all of her pain to the altar and poured her soul out before God.

And after she held the baby boy God gave her, after she nursed him and weaned him and presented him to the tabernacle, she declared, “Talk no more so very proudly; Let no arrogance come from your mouth, For the Lord is the God of knowledge; And by Him actions are weighed” (1 Samuel 1:3).

By Him actions are weighed.  God saw Peninnah in her meanness, Elkanah in his cluelessness, Eli in his pompousness and Hannah in her brokenness.  Hannah placed the entire situation in God’s hands and trusted in His ability to judge and to bless.

We likewise can trust God to help us when we face mean girls, unhelpful friends, and those who judge us.  He will help us know how to love our enemies, pray for those who hurt us, and turn the other cheek, and yet all the while protect us from the venomous bite that comes from stepping too close to the snakes in the grass.

Want to learn more about praying for your kids and their school?  Check out Moms In Touch International.  There are groups of moms, grandmas, and school staff internationally who meet once a week for one hour to pray for our children. You can find a group in your area by searching their website.

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer for www.myfrienddebbie.com and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2011 Heather King

Quick! Close the Curtains, Turn out the Lights and Hide!

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For those reading Lisa Harper’s book, Stumbling Into Grace, along with my small group, today’s devotional will match up with her third chapter: “Take a Load Off”

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“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”
John 15:15

I hadn’t invited her over.  It was a busy day with a lengthy to-do list and I had no time for visitors.

Yet, my best friend in the whole wide world unexpectedly appeared on my doorstep in the middle of the day and she brought some friends with her.

My first impulse was to hit the light switch and hover in the back of my house in the dim light, hoping she thought I wasn’t home.

But I didn’t.  I scooped up the laundry from my couch and dumped it on my bed, closing the bedroom door behind me. Glancing in the mirror, I smoothed back my hair and threw open the front door, pasting a welcoming smile on my face.

Hey!  What a surprise! Come in!  Welcome, welcome.  Have a seat.  I’ll be with you in a minute.

The sound of the dryer finishing a load cut through the small talk.  I meant to get my guests something to drink and scan the fridge for some lunch prospects.  I meant to.  But, I took a detour to the laundry room to switch over the clothes.

Then the phone rang.  I answered it and made apologetic faces at the visitors while ironing out the details for an upcoming church program with the lady on the other end of the line.

Hanging up the phone, I remembered that I had to get dinner in the crockpot right away or the 6 hours my food was supposed to spend on low heat would end up being 3 hours on high or maybe even 15 minutes in the microwave.

So, I shouted out, “What brings you here today?  What’s new with you?” from the kitchen as I chopped carrots and celery.  Then I made occasional sounds of mild interest and attention, (mmmm hmmmm,  Oh, I see, Wow) while my very dearest and best friend in the whole wide world told me what was on her mind.

Seeing my to-do list on the counter, I entered the living room and gave verbal cues to my friend that it was now time to go.

Well, it was great to see you.  I’m so glad you could stop by for this little chat.  Maybe I’ll call you later this week and we’ll schedule time to get together.

She quickly caught on and stood up to go.  The visit ended, just like that………………………….

Now, don’t cancel your plans to visit with me.  While hospitality certainly isn’t my spiritual gift, I’m not as rude as that made-up story would suggest.

Still, does it amaze you how Abraham reacted when God showed up at his tent door unexpectedly with two friends in the heat of the day?  God didn’t even call first!

When Abraham saw the three surprise visitors headed his way, he didn’t run inside his tent, hang a sign on the door that read “Out to Lunch” and then shut the flaps, hoping they’d think he wasn’t home.

No, he “hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground” (Genesis 18:2).

Then, he immediately and without complaint abandoned his plans for the day and made their comfort his sole focus.

He said, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by.  Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree.  Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way—now that you have come to your servant” (Genesis 18:3-5).

He showed hospitality to God.

Abraham begged the Lord to “not pass your servant by.”  And God didn’t.  Instead, He rested in that place.  Rather than delivering a divine message and then disappearing, He sat in the shade of the tree, eating and chatting with Abraham.

That’s right.  God and Abraham “hung out.”

And when the visit was over, the Lord, having been shown hospitality, shared with Abraham the plan for Sodom and Gomorrah’s destruction.  This was not the purpose of the visit, but it was a divine revelation borne out of intimate fellowship with God.

While we have the Holy Spirit’s presence in our lives continually, still there are moments when He shows up in clear and powerful ways in the middle of our busyness.

He appears at the tent of our heart.  He inquires if we’re home, if we’re willing to spend time with Him.

Do we tell Him to come back tomorrow because we’ve already fulfilled our quiet time quota for the day?  Or do we usher Him into the center of our hearts and show Him hospitality?

Chris Tiegreen wrote:

When He comes to you in the heat of the day, do you bow before Him, offer Him the refreshment of your hospitality, and give of your possessions?  Do you aim to serve?  Then don’t be surprised if God lingers.  Don’t be surprised if He communicates with  you as with a privileged friend.”

I don’t know about you, but I echo Abraham’s prayer that God will “not pass your servant by.”  Oh, how I long for friendship with God.

But, why should He linger with us if we make it clear by our actions that He’s not welcome?

When He asks to spend time with you, turn off the TV.  The next time hubby watches the kids, don’t hit the shops, grab your Bible and journal and visit a park instead.  Or grab a cup of coffee (or in my case a scoop of ice cream) together—yes, go on a date with God.

Make it clear to Him, the best and dearest Friend you’ll ever have, that He is welcome in your life—not for what He does for you or because He fulfills your needs or fixes your problems—but because of who He is.

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer for www.myfrienddebbie.com and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2011 Heather King

Free to Dance

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For those reading Lisa Harper’s book, Stumbling Into Grace, along with my small group, today’s devotional will match up with her second chapter: “The Very Real Problem of Pantyhose” 

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“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery”
(Galatians 5:1).

My mom will still tell you I was the best little four-year-old ballerina in my class.  I knew every step in our recital routine perfectly.

Performance night arrived and I was decked out in my ballet outfit and felt super fancy with my parasol.

Stepping onto the stage, I glanced to my left and realized my teacher stood in the wings.  She mouthed the words, “Watch me” as our music began.

So, I watched her.  She stepped.  I stepped.  She twirled.  I twirled  She lifted her pretend parasol up.  I lifted up my prop, as well.

I thought it was odd that she was also frantically shaking her head no and making strange motions with her hands in between each move. Then I noticed that all the other girls were one step behind me and the teacher, and I was mortified on their behalf.

They were all doing it wrong! An entire stage full of tiny ballerinas, and I was the only one doing the routine correctly!  Could they not see the teacher shaking her head at them and telling them what to do?

Determined to obey the instructor, I dogmatically refused to match my steps to the other girls in my class.  After all, who was most likely to be right—the teacher or a dozen four-year-old girls?

What I didn’t realize was that the teacher had been one step ahead of the routine the whole time.  She was showing us the move that was coming next, not the step we were actually on.  So I, in all my stubbornness, had been one step ahead of the actual routine for the entire performance.

That, my friends, was the end of my very promising ballet career.

On the other hand, I’ve spent years of my life worrying about what the audience thinks of me and fearing what will happen if I make a mistake and mis-step.  Not that my ballet fiasco is to blame for that, but it’s there nonetheless.

It’s the very real straightjacket of people-pleasing.

In her book, Stumbling Into Grace, Lisa Harper writes, “Jesus provides freedom, regardless of what’s been cramping our stories” (p. 19).

I don’t know what restricts you or binds you or has you so tied up that you miss out on the glorious freedom that Christ brings, but worrying about what other people think of me—well, that’s been my personal prison for a long time.

And even those of you who boldly announce all the time that, “I don’t care what other people think of me,” may deep down in the depths of your tender soul do just that.  Maybe you desperately care about what other people think after all.

You want them to have a high opinion of you.  You want them to agree that the choices you’ve made as a woman, as a wife, as a mom are the right ones.  You want people to see you’re an awesome mom and you’re a great wife.  You want them to be blind to your mistakes. You want them to buy into the persona you’ve created for yourself—that you’ve got it all together, that you’re smart, strong, capable, and surely superwoman in the flesh.

And our great fear, the thing that just rips us to pieces—is what happens if people realize we are . . . . not perfect.

And the thought that even when we’re doing the right thing or doing our best, some people won’t approve . .  that’s devastating.

In Genesis 29, we read about a precious woman who longed with all her being to be good enough and to perform well enough to earn her husband’s love.

There wasn’t ever any doubt about it.  Jacob’s “love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah” (Genesis 29:30).

My heart just breaks for the unloved Leah.  So did God’s.  “When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive” (Genesis 29:31) and in quick succession, she gives birth to three sons: Reuben, Simeon and Levi.

When each son was born, Leah revealed what was in her heart:

  • “Surely my husband will love me now” (verse 32)
  • “Because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too” (verse 33)
  • “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons” (verse 34)

She was buying her husband’s affection with babies.  More particularly, the male sons that a man in Jacob’s time and culture prided himself on.  Rachel may have been loved, but she remained barren for many years while Leah delivered son after son.

Still, Leah never once was able to perform well enough to earn Jacob’s love.

Eventually something clicked in Leah’s heart.  After having four sons for a man who still didn’t love her, she finally declared at the birth of her fourth baby, “‘This time I will praise the LORD.‘ So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children” (Genesis 29:35).

For one brief moment in her life, Leah threw off the crippling chains of trying to please a human being and flung her unhindered arms open wide in worship of God.

Because God cared for her immensely and unconditionally.  God thought she was beautiful.  God thought she was worthy of notice.  God lavished on her the gift of four healthy sons. 

And that, for the moment, was enough.

Is it enough for you to know that God loves you?  Is it enough to know that you are obeying His instructions?

We people-pleasers can’t often escape from the binding fear of what others think about us in one magical moment.  No, it’s a battle.  It’s an active choice we make over and over to make pleasing God our supreme life passion rather than allowing the expectations of others to bind us hand and foot.

Paul wrote, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).

Christ offers you freedom.  Glorious freedom.  So, stand firm in that.  Stand confidently assured of your calling.  Dance to the song He has given you and perform only for Him.

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I’m excited to share with you one of my most favorite songs on the freedom that Christ brings.  I hope you are blessed by it.

Hear the song here: http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=JM2C1MNU

Free by Ginny Owens

Turnin’ molehills into mountains,
Makin’ big deals out of small ones,
Bearing gifts as if they’re burdens,
This is how it’s been.
Fear of coming out of my shell,
Too many things I can’t do too well,
afraid I’ll try real hard, and I’ll fail–
This is how it’s been.
Till the day You pounded on my heart’s door,
And You shouted joyfully,
“You’re not a slave anymore!”

“You’re free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you’re free to sing-even joyful noise is music to Me
You’re free to love,
‘Cause I’ve given you My love
and it’s made you free

My mind finds hard to believe
That You became humanity and changed the course of history,
Because You loved me so.
And my heart cannot understand
Why You’d accept me as I am,
But You say You’ve always had a plan,
And that’s all I need to know.
So when I am consumed by what the world will say,
it’s Then You’re singing to me, as You remove my chains-

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer for www.myfrienddebbie.com and worship leader.  Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness.  To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Copyright © 2011 Heather King