Cancelling the Parenting Magazine

August 15, 2014August 15, 20143 Comments

New Mom + Parenting Magazine Subscription = Monthly Mom Crisis.

When I was that fresh, idealistic young mom with that first chubby cheeked babe, I had big, big plans to get it all right.

Every month that magazine arrived. I scanned it for creative ideas, ripped out yummy recipes, and dog-eared pages with fun activities.

Then I grumped around the house for a day or two.

I cried occasionally.

Because, according to the magazine, good moms don’t ever serve their kids macaroni and cheese. If said mac and cheese happens to be from a box, good gracious, you are one of “THOSE” moms. You know—-the Bad Moms.

Also, Good Moms have Good Kids who always choose the steamed vegetables and rice pilaf when dining out. These perfect children never order the pizza and chicken fingers.

Limit screen time. Join play groups. Teach kids to share. Teach them to care.

Involve them in service projects and ideally live abroad so you can expand their vision of the world.

Teach them sign language and then a foreign language.

Make all your dinners a month in advance and freeze them.

Kids must have an allowance and a weekly chore chart or they will end up lazy, unemployed and bankrupt.

Discipline this way. Play with them that way.

Work outside the home.

Don’t work outside the home.

And never, ever, ever expect your kids to play on their own or entertain themselves with siblings or friends without your intense and continual involvement. You must play cars, dolls, and blocks with them for hours. Good moms never get bored building towers and are never too busy to color.

I finally asserted myself and cancelled the subscription. Who needs to pay for a monthly self-esteem destroyer?

The truth is, I do some of those Good Mom things, but no one can do all of them.

When we try to do everything, we won’t do anything well.

We end up weighed down by overwhelming expectations and impossible demands.

How much better to celebrate victories, to keep a balanced perspective, and to choose what’s most important right here and right now?

How much better to lean in close to God day after daily day and ask Him, “What do you have for me, Lord? Right here. Right now. Show me what’s next.”

The world is full of opinions about who we need to be and what we need to be doing. It’s a noisy place and everyone has something to say.

But in my 12-month journey of pursuing the presence of Christ, all this month I’m “Learning to Say No.”

That means saying no to good things, at times, in order to do the “right thing God has for me.”

It means saying no to being like everyone else, to trying to be perfect, to trying to do everything, to keeping up with every great idea on Pinterest, Facebook, and mommy blogs.

It means no longer being paralyzed by everything, so I can do the right things well.

King David placed a weighty task on the shoulders of his son, Solomon. He handed over the plans for the temple with instructions on dividing the labor among the Levites, how much gold to use for the lampstands and the cherubim, and the available supplies.

This was the right thing, the God-thing, that God had designed, purposed and planned for Solomon to do.

And it still could have felt like too much. How could Solomon even begin?

David told his son:

Be strong and do the work (1 Chronicles 28:10 NIV)

and again:

Then David continued, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the Lord is finished correctly (1 Chronicles 28:20 NLT)

Be strong.

Don’t be afraid.

God is with you.

So, do the work.

Pick up right where you are and begin. One step at one time.

I don’t need to do everything.

I just need to begin with this one thing.

And God is with you. He will not fail or forsake you.

When we lean our weary and overwhelmed souls onto Him, He shoulders the load. He makes sure the work is done well.

Maybe that’s the lesson Solomon needed so that when God told him, “Ask me for anything….” Solomon knew what to say:

Give me the wisdom and knowledge to lead them properly, for who could possibly govern this great people of yours?” (2 Chronicles 1:10 NLT).

Help me do the work. That’s what Solomon said. Show me how to fulfill this calling.

And isn’t this my heart, too?

Lord, show me how to do this well.

To read more about this 12-month journey of pursuing the presence of Christ, you can follow the links below! Won’t you join me this month as I ‘Learn to Say, ‘No?’

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer and worship leader. Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness. Her book, Ask Me Anything, Lord: Opening Our Hearts to God’s Questions, is available now! To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Epic Failures; Epic Grace

August 13, 2014August 13, 20142 Comments

Mom Failures.

I’ve had them, had some doozies actually.

Anyone else?

There was the year my oldest daughter had been pestering me all week with her chattery excitement about an upcoming birthday party for a friend. The day of the party, I told her it was time to go and double-checked the invitation on the way out the door. That’s when I found out that the party actually ended at 2:00, not began at 2:00. She had missed it completely. We drove anyway just to bring our present and apologize, but everyone was already gone.

I had one tearful extrovert of a 5-year-old that day.

And it was my fault. My own failure that had ruined her super-exciting day.

I apologized a million times and it still didn’t feel like enough. I took her to one of those play places with a million bouncy inflatables and she had the most fun jumping herself into exhaustion, but I still knew the truth—I had failed.

“Bad moments don’t make bad mamas!” That’s what Lysa TerKeurst says.

She’s right, of course. One missed birthday party doesn’t define me, doesn’t stuff me into a box of rejection or label me as a Failure-With-a-Capital-F.

But in that moment, it’s so hard to soak in any grace when your soul is rock-hard with shame.

And when you mess it all up, all those other mistakes come crashing right back down on your head from the places you’ve shelved them. Pretty soon, you’re covered in the trash of remembered failure.

You always….You never…..

We hear the absolute declarations that we simply are not good enough, our own voice of condemnation echoing in our own head and heart.

You always make a mess of things.

You never get it right.

You’re always so stupid, so flaky, so forgetful, so short-tempered….

You’ll never be as good as she is…

God can’t use you.

Chris Tiegreen writes:

We are apt to think that failure disqualifies us from serving God well. To the contrary, sometimes it is the only thing that does qualify us. It removes any pretense of self-reliance. Like a phoenix rising, we ascend from the ashes of our own undoing, testifying to the resurrecting power of God. From failure to forgiveness, weakness to strength, death to life—it’s God’s way. Remember that the next time you despair over your failures (365 Pocket Devotions).

We’re mess-ups, all of us. Somehow, some way, at some time, we’re going to fail.

That’s why we need grace, after all. That’s why we needed a Savior: because on our own, we’ll never be perfect, never good enough, never all right.

But there’s Jesus, not just ready to pour out forgiveness afterward; He prays for us in advance.

Jesus looked right at Simon Peter sitting at the Passover Meal, that Last Supper, and said:

“But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers” (Luke 22:32 NIV).

What grace is this?

Before Peter ever denied Christ, Jesus had been praying for him.

Before Peter’s sin, Jesus already assured him of restoration, promising not just that he would “turn back,” but that Peter could be the one to “strengthen your brothers.”

Jesus promised Peter, “After you’ve failed and you’ve returned to me, I can still use you. More than that, that’s WHEN I can use you.”

Sometimes our own failure makes us most useful to God.

When we receive grace, we learn to give grace.

When we are at our weakest, we learn to rely on His strength and not our own (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Maybe we don’t see the hope right away, not with the mess lying fresh all around us. It’s hard to see beauty in all those ashes. Hard to see grace in the hard and mercy in the difficult.

But the Psalmist wrote:

The Lord helps the fallen
and lifts those bent beneath their loads
(Psalm 145:114 NLT).

Have you tripped up? Have you fallen? Have you crashed headlong into that dark pit?

Do you feel weighed down by the load of shame and guilt and condemnation?

The Lord is there to help you and to hold you up.

Give what’s broken to Him and let Him bring you to something new, something beautiful, and something for your good.

14 Bible Verses and a Prayer on Waiting

August 11, 201416 Comments

Psalm 25:4-5 ESV
Make me to know your ways, O Lord;
teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all the day long.
Psalm 27:13-14
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Psalm 33:20-22
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you.
Psalm 37:7 ESV
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,
over the man who carries out evil devices!
Psalm 37:9 ESV
For the evildoers shall be cut off,
but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.
Psalm 40:1-3 ESV
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.
Psalm 62:5 ESV
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
Psalm 130:5-6 NIV
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
I wait for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Isaiah 30:18 ESV
Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you,
and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
blessed are all those who wait for him.
Isaiah 40:29-31 HCSB
He gives strength to the weary

Photo by Weerayut Kongsombut; 123rf.com

and strengthens the powerless.
Youths may faint and grow weary,
and young men stumble and fall,
but those who trust in the Lord
will renew their strength;
they will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary;
they will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 64:4 NIV
Since ancient times no one has heard,
no ear has perceived,
no eye has seen any God besides you,
who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.
Lamentations 3:25 ESV
The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
Micah 7:7 NIV
But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord,
I wait for God my Savior;
my God will hear me.
James 5:7-8 HCSB
Therefore, brothers, be patient until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth and is patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains. You also must be patient. Strengthen your hearts, because the Lord’s coming is near.

This is the Word I Have to Write on a Flashcard to Learn

August 8, 2014August 4, 20141 Comment

I’ve said, “No” a lot this summer, not always, but more often than usual for me.

Maybe it’s this rambunctious explorer of a baby boy who is helping me learn this. “No, no,” I say as he reaches for the oven, the lightsocket, the cord, the speck on the carpet. Some days it feels like I’ve said it fifty-billion times by the time my husband comes home and then he joins in the chorus.

All this practice is helping me say “no” in other ways.

“No” to swimming lessons. “No” to three of the week-long day-camps my kids attended and enjoyed last year. “No” to summer dance classes. “No” to governor’s school. “No” to a host of other exciting, wonderful, and fulfilling lessons, camps, clubs, or groups.

I still mumble it when I say it, scared to offend or disappoint. It’s as if this word is unfamiliar, a foreign-sounding syllable that I’ve handwritten on a flashcard so I can practice making it part of my working vocabulary.

And it does take practice.

“Nnnnnnn….oooooooooo”

“N….o….”

Picture by Viktor Hanacek; picjumbo.com

“No.”

There. I said it.

It takes wisdom, too. Sometimes God wants me to say, ‘Yes.’ It’s yes to His plans for me, yes to obedience and loving others.

Sometimes, though, His best for me and my family is ‘no’ because we can’t actually do everything. We can’t even do every good thing.

God only equips us to do what He’s called us to do. Not more or less than that.

The competitive girl in me grits those teeth hard. I listen to the moms around me who did all of this and more. I feel like the only one.

I read the email in my inbox the night after I say “no,” the email that tells me my daughter really should do this….. because she really needs two classes, not just one.

I waver and question and doubt my decision. Maybe I should change my mind?

I worry and fret a bit. What if my girls fall behind? What if they forget over this summer hiatus? What if all their friends make all this progress and what if I’m robbing them of the lessons they need to reach their potential?

But I think of my daughter, this over-achieving, go-getter, organized, competitive, ambitious girl. She had huddled next to me in the middle of last year’s breathless rush and whispered to me right then, “Mom, I want to take the summer off.”

So, we made tough choices. Maybe we didn’t always get it right. Maybe we did. We narrowed things down. We inserted weeks off in between weeks of activity. We’ve left room to enjoy the last days before school starts.

We said, “no” so we could say “yes” to rest, family, breathing room, friends, flexibility, time together, free time, play time, and creative time.

This weekend, I finished up my school supply shopping. Fall nips at my heels even now; I feel it in the restless stirring of my soul and in the way I desperately cling to these final joys of summer because I know they will not last.

Once that school year begins, we’ll still need to say, ‘no’ at times. Yet, school is school; homework and projects aren’t my choice. Church activities are church activities. The job is the job. The schedule is the schedule, and with four young kids and activities of our own, my husband and I simply will be busy.

All this year, I’m pursuing the presence of Christ and this month that means I’m Learning to Say “No” so that I can carry some of that discipline and that wisdom into the school year. It’s balance that I’ll need, knowing what is “yes” and what is “no” when fall begins.

Because what my soul needs is Jesus. What my family needs is Jesus. Not competition or races or achievements or getting ahead.

We. Need. Him.

The Psalmist wrote:

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? (Psalm 42:2 NIV).

I could throw back glass after glass of activity, and of ‘going’ and ‘doing’ to try to quench this desperate thirst, but it’d be like chugging sea water. I’d still thirst for Him, for that Living Water that flows only in His presence.

Sometimes others won’t understand. Some will think I’m too busy. Others will think I’m not busy enough.

Yet, it’s God’s face I’m seeking and it’s His opinion of me that matters. It’s His voice I need to obey; His wisdom I need to seek; His footsteps I need to follow.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21 NIV).

To read more about this 12-month journey of pursuing the presence of Christ, you can follow the links below! Won’t you join me this month as I ‘Learn to Say, ‘No?’

5 Prayers Before the School Year Begins

August 6, 2014August 7, 20142 Comments

I stood in the line of nervous parents and excited-though-apprehensive elementary school children at Open House last year. I was praying….a lot.

Sometimes I mess up and treat God like little more than a pagan idol–acting as if maybe if I cross my fingers, rub a rabbit’s foot, do a fancy jig and offer to sacrifice something, He’ll answer my prayers just because He sees how desperate I am. prayersbeforeschool “Oh Jesus, please give me daughter a great teacher this year…..please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeee.”

Yet, while He loves the sincerity and passion I have for praying for my kids, He knows what they need without me trying to manipulate Him into giving me my way.

And while standing in line at Open House isn’t a bad place to pray, it’s not the only time to pray.

After all, when it was our turn, we stepped up to the table and the principal handed us an index card for each daughter with their room number and teacher’s name for the school year. The decision, however, had been made weeks before.

So, maybe that’s when to start praying?

Or maybe the answer really is that we never stop praying for our kids.

Not ever.

We move from need to need, praying today for today, but also for tomorrow and for five years from now and on into their adult years, their marriages, their careers and ministries.

So, here are five prayers I start praying before the school year begins, long before I step into that line on Open House night and certainly before I kiss my kids on the head, pray for them quickly and watch them step onto the bus on the first day of school.

For the right teacher and classroom: God, you know my children best. Yes, you know them even better than I do. You know exactly what teacher is going to work with their strengths and weaknesses and what teacher will help them reach their potential and be excited about school and learning. Please give the teachers and administrators wisdom as they place our children into classrooms and help my children be matched with the perfect teacher and the classmates who will be good friends rather than bullies, mean girls, or distractions this year. Please bless the teacher’s summer, helping it be restful and fun so he or she can start the school year with enthusiasm, excitement and energy!
For safety: Lord, it’s hard for me to let my children go where I can’t see them or be with them all the time. I want so much to be there to protect them and guide them, intervene for them, and love them through the hard things. But, I know You are with them even when I can’t be. You can care for them better than I can. Please watch over them with Your providential care and protection.
For their choices: Father, my children will be making tons of decisions every day. Please help them to know they can always turn to You for help when they need it and please help them draw on the wisdom from Your Word that we’ve tried to teach them. Let Your Holy Spirit direct their steps and guide their hearts to do what is right. Help my children be a witness for You all day, on the playground, in the lunch room, in the classroom and more.
For us as parents: God, we need just as much help as our kids do for this school year. Help us make wise decisions and know how to mold their character, give advice, when to get involved and when to let our children handle things on their own, and how to train up this child in the way that he or she should go.
For their friendships: Lord, one of the biggest decisions my kids will make this year is about who to befriend. Please give them discernment and wisdom to know how to choose good friends, those who will lead them to you, those who will encourage success and help them do the right thing. When there are children being picked on or ignored, I ask that you will show my child how to give them compassion and to reach out to them in love. Give my children the strength to lead others to You rather than be led by others away from You. Please protect them from bullies, mean girls, and bad influences and help them know how to stand up for what is right when necessary.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Originally posted August 2, 2013

What My Monday Soul Needs to Know

August 4, 2014August 4, 20141 Comment

My resolution for Monday:

Photo by just2shutter; 123rf.com

To breathe in and breathe out, deep taking in of peace and pushing out of contentment. No catching my breath in anxiety, hyperventilating stress, and rushing to the point of breathless exhaustion.

Just breathe. Move through the day without giving into the push, push, push of “faster, more, do, accomplish, check off the list, get it done.” Walk as I vacuum, walk as I put away the clothes. Make that phone call without simultaneously folding underwear and t-shirts.

And spend time with Jesus for relationship not for task-completion.

The temptation is there, of course. It’s the curse of Monday. All of the spillover from last week, the messages to read through and answer after taking a Sabbath from all of that “connection” over the weekend, and the new tasks ahead clamor at me for attention.

What was that email I needed to send?
Wasn’t there someone I needed to call?
Was I behind on my reading, my commitments?
Didn’t I need to print this for the week and pack that for tonight and fill out that form and mail back that letter?

It’s a million tiny things nipping at the heels of my Jesus-focused life, yipping and yapping until I turn my attention from Him.

And then when I do sit down to rest at His feet, dear Father, oh my Father, I am so thankful to be in Your presence ….

Still I fail. Still I pop up every few minutes for the ding of the laundry and the starting of the meal, and the reminder of something else needing to be done.

My time with Him becomes stilted, becomes stale, becomes necessary without being the fresh oxygen in my soul I need for very survival and beyond that, the abundant life He promises. Necessary only because it’s an assignment, like homework for school.

It’s more like: Read the assigned Bible reading. Check. Read the passage in the study for this week’s group discussion. Check. Complete the other Bible study . . . while interrupted and racing against the clock:

Must…..finish…..so…..I…..can….check….this….off…..my…..list….and……do…..other…..things.

I wonder if He’d prefer if I just skipped it all rather than flop down at this kitchen table half-hearted and thinking about 50 things clearly more important than He is to me in that moment.

This isn’t relationship. This is business.

In his book, Prayer, Richard J. Foster wrote:

“Today the heart of God is an open wound of love. He aches over our distance and preoccupation. He mourns that we do not draw near to him. He grieves that we have forgotten him. He weeps over our obsession with muchness and manyness. He longs for our presence…

We do not need to be shy. He invites us into the living room of his heart, where we can put on old slippers and share freely. he invites us into the kitchen of his friendship, where chatter and batter mix in good fun. He invites us into the dining room of his strength, where we can feast to our heart’s delight….” (p. 1)

Maybe that’s my problem. I’ve been barely acknowledging His presence at times at my kitchen table. Perhaps I should take up His invitation to hang out in His kitchen. To eat in His presence and share in good company and the intimacy of friendship, not on my terms, but at His offering.

At the Last Supper, the apostle John leaned against Jesus, drew in close and rested against the Savior, even while realizing that Jesus was about to be betrayed (John 13:25).

Why be more like Peter, who in shame and frustration, perhaps even anger at the destruction of his plans and agenda, certainly in fear…”followed him (Jesus) at a distance” (Matthew 26:58) after Christ’s arrest.

Sure, I’m always following, I’m a faithful kind of girl, trailing after God always. But sometimes I’m just stepping into the imprint of His footsteps rather than walking by His side, following out of obedience only, mostly out of distracted busyness and duty.

This year, I’m pursuing the presence of Christ. In August, that means I’m learning to say, ‘no.’ I’m saying it today: “No” to the stress of do and do. “No” to hyperventilating heaviness of breathless rush.

Today I resolve to breathe in and breathe out, to linger here at the table with Jesus and lean into His presence. No rushing up from the meal to pursue my own agenda. No skimming through the page of Scripture to get to the end of the assigned reading.

Leaning into Jesus. Breathing in and breathing out. Then walking side by side with Him into my day, not tripping along behind: holding His hand and chatting along the journey.

Originally published October 15, 2012

To read more about this 12-month journey of pursuing the presence of Christ, you can follow the links below! Won’t you join me this month as I ‘Learn When to Say, ‘No?’

Stopping at the Krispy Kreme

August 1, 2014July 28, 20143 Comments

I didn’t even know exactly what to look for. We were driving back to the hotel after a morning at the beach on vacation and my husband said, “It looks like their sign is on.” KrispyKreme1

Sign? What sign? I leaned forward in the minivan passenger seat to see what this apparently well-known phenomenon looks like. The sign looked dim like normal to me, but he pointed to the circle underneath the words Krispy Kreme and I saw it: the red letters announcing newly baked treats.

He swung into the parking lot and three wet and sandy daughters piled out of the back of the minivan totally confused by our impromptu stop at the doughnut shop.

This was not part of the plan, not on the vacation agenda, not on the list of expected activities we reviewed that morning at breakfast.

They balked a little. They are tired, wet, sandy, and cold. Can they just go back to the hotel? Pleeeeeaaaaaase.

We assured them…you will like this. This will make you happy. Just trust us. We are your parents, full of the wisdom and insight that comes with age.

A few minutes later, they emerged wearing paper hats and carrying the box of hot doughnuts: fresh, deliciously soft and gooey, hot doughnuts.

Photo by Serge Bertasius; 123RF.com

We devoured them.

I’d heard all the hype and hadn’t believed it. How could hot doughnuts be that much better than the plain old ones I bought in a box from the grocery store?

But oh my, they just melted away in my mouth. Normally, one doughnut would be enough, but these evaporated when they hit your tongue.

I assured myself that calories don’t count when you’re on vacation.

But there it is in my soul, as I’m chomping down on hot Krispy Kreme doughnuts of all things, the realization that it wasn’t the ingredients that were different or the baking method that made them my new favorite treat. Those doughnuts in the boxes at the grocery store were baked the same way by the same company with the same recipe.

What made the difference was freshness. There was not one second of staleness as they moved from the oven right onto our tongues.

And I long for this now. I think how too often I let my time with God grow stale. I come a little too complacent to His Word, a little too rushed, a little too KrispyKreme2 distracted.

I’m too apt to treat my time with Him as what a good Christian girl does because that’s what good Christian girls do. We have our quiet times. We read the Bible through every year. We check the box and maintain righteousness and right standing.

As an elementary school girl, I used to feel flat-out guilty and sin-stained if I hadn’t read a whole chapter in the Bible before going to sleep at night. A few verses wouldn’t do. I was clearly selfish and in need of repenting for not hitting some magic holy quota.

I think of my hot, fresh doughnuts and I think of the fresh-baked bread the priests laid out in the Old Testament Tabernacle once a week.

God told them:

Put the bread of the Presence on this table to be before me at all times (Exodus 25:30 NIV).

They didn’t archive that bread and let it sit and grow moldy there before the Lord. They replaced it week after faithful week.

It needed to be fresh. It needed to be new.

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him (Psalm 34:8 NIV).

That’s what the Psalmist assures me, that when I taste, I will discover the Lord’s goodness.

So, if I’m biting into what’s stale and moldy, crusted over and hard, then I’m missing out; I’m missing Him.

Help me, Lord, to stop being satisfied with yesterday’s bread and start craving the freshness of Your presence.

May I come into Your presence expectant instead of coming into Your presence complacent.

To read more about this 12-month journey of pursuing the presence of Christ, you can follow the links below! Won’t you join me this month as I ‘Learn When to Say, ‘No?’

Finding Room to Breathe: A 12-month pursuit of the presence of Christ
January: Be Still and Know
February: Pray Simply
March: Unplug
April: Enjoy Beauty
May: Create Beauty
June: Invest in Friendship
July: Retreat and Refresh
August: Learn When to Say, ‘No’

How Many Seashells Did I Bring Home from Vacation?

July 30, 2014July 28, 2014Leave a comment

They busied themselves with buckets and shovels, patting sand into castle walls and adding shells and seaweed for decor.

I took this one moment, after my daughters had bounced in the waves and come out with their hair stringy and wet, and now here as they settled on a project. They exchanged ideas. What if we….? How about we….?

They assigned tasks. I’ll build here while you build there….

I left the three executive sand architects and walked there along the ocean, passing by families huddled under beach umbrellas. Even so, I felt the quiet of alone. Something about that ocean, that pounding out of the waves like the steadiness of a heartbeat, so dependable, so regular, so beyond our understanding.

I glanced out over that rolling water and then focused on the wet sand beneath my feet, on the seaweed and the shells carried to shore.

You can’t walk steady on a beach, not without effort. You walk and then pause for treasure. A curved shell, a whole shell, a tiny shell, a colorful shell. I palmed them as I strolled.

Treasure here. Treasure there.

Walk. Pause for shell. Walk. Pause for shell. Walk. Pause for shell.

It took discipline to force my eyes up. Stop looking at the ground. Stop scanning the sand for one more beach memento.

Don’t look so hard for treasure that you miss the grand display of God’s glory right there beside you.

I’m looking for tiny seashells and this ocean keeps hitting that shore with wave after wave. in this vast display of His power, this roaring declaration of praise:

Glory to God! Glory to God! He is great beyond words. He is powerful. He is faithful, steady and certain. He is beyond understanding.

The Psalmist wrote it:

Mightier than the thunder of the great waters,
mightier than the breakers of the sea—
the Lord on high is mighty (Psalm 93:4 NIV).

Maybe I’m a treasure-hunter every day. Head down. Eyes to the ground. I’m looking for the prize, the takeaway, the gift I can grip into my hands and the one that digs into the flesh of my palm.

Maybe that’s me.

Maybe I’m scanning and scanning for blessing and it’s an obsession really, perhaps even an addiction because I can dash off a glance at the ocean of glory beside me but it’s quick and I worry, “What am I missing?” So, I drop my head down again to look for results.

And maybe what I’m missing is seeing Him, seeing His glory, sensing the full weight of His presence and lingering there, not rushing away to do and do, or find and find, or receive and receive.

I had to slip away from the everyday life to discover this obsession of seeking God’s activity instead of His face, seeking His blessing instead of His presence, seeking His gifts instead of simply seeking Him.

Because there’s just something plain-out broken in a girl who would rather look for a tiny seashell covered in sand than looking across the ocean.

And here I am at home, and I’m feeling that pressure to pray for results, pray for answers, for help, deliverance, provision, direction, favor, blessing.

So, I discipline my needy heart.

Hush. Be still. Bring it to Jesus and trust Him.

And this:

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need (Mathew 6:33 NLT).

So we must seek God’s face and not just His hand. We seek His presence, not just His gifts. We seek who He is, not just what He can do.

To read more about this 12-month journey of pursuing the presence of Christ, you can follow the links below! Won’t you join me this month as I ‘Retreat and Refresh?

12 Bible Verses for a Spiritual Retreat

July 28, 2014January 29, 201610 Comments

Psalm 23:1-6 NASB
The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
²He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
³He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
⁴Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
⁵You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
⁶Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Psalm 42:1-2 NIV
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, my God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
Psalm 62:5 NIV
Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Psalm 80:18-19 ESV
Then we shall not turn back from you;
give us life, and we will call upon your name!
Restore us, O Lord God of hosts
Let your face shine, that we may be saved!
Psalm 116:7 NIV
Return to your rest, my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you.
Proverbs 11:25 NIV
A generous person will prosper;
whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.
Song of Solomon 2:10 NKJV
My beloved spoke, and said to me:
“Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away.
Isaiah 28:12-13 NIV
to whom he said,
    “This is the resting place, let the weary rest”;
and, “This is the place of repose”—
    but they would not listen.
¹³So then, the word of the Lord to them will become:
    Do this, do that,
    a rule for this, a rule for that;
    a little here, a little there—
so that as they go they will fall backward;
    they will be injured and snared and captured.
Jeremiah 31:25 NASB
For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes.
Hosea 2:14-16 ESV
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
    and bring her into the wilderness,
    and speak tenderly to her.
¹⁵And there I will give her her vineyards
    and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,
    as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.
Matthew 11:28 NIV
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Mark 6:31 NIV
Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

The Top 10 Best Things About Hotels (Says the Mom Away From Home)

July 25, 2014July 14, 2014Leave a comment

10. When there’s a problem, someone else has to fix it! No breaking out the tools when something is wrong. One word to a hotel staff member and within five minutes the handyman shows up with his own tool box.

9. How excited your kids get about every little thing: There’s a tiny refrigerator!! And a microwave!!! And a TV!!!! And a couch with a pull psalm39-6 -out bed!!! There’s a closet!!! And a bathroom!!! Everything is more exciting in a hotel room. Add in some luxuries like a hotel swimming pool, electronic key cards, and elevators with buttons to push, and you have kid-paradise.

8. Styrofoam cups with lids: Our hotel has a little hospitality bar in the lobby with packets of tea, hot cocoa, creamer, sugar and more. One night after swimming in the pool, I grabbed some hot chocolate packets as a treat for the girls. The best part? The cups they supplied came with plastic lids. Hot cocoa at home ALWAYS involves huge messes and near-industrial-sized spill clean-up. Why didn’t I think of travel mugs with lids long ago?

7. The Indoor Pool: We don’t the fanciest hotel with the most expensive amenities available; we just need access to an indoor pool. Happiest kids ever.

6. Short-Order Cook Breakfasts: At home, I sometimes feel like I should snap my hair into a bun, tuck a pencil behind my ear, don an apron and take down breakfast orders in a tiny notebook. At the hotel, we had buffet-style breakfasts where everyone found something yummy—well, except for the child who prefers breakfast at home with her favorite cereal every . . . . single . . . . day.

5. Someone else washes all the towels and sheets.

4. Someone else vacuums the floor.

3. Someone else washes the dishes.

2. Someone else scrubs the toilets. Sensing a trend here? I sure did. We’ve tried stay-cations before, but do you know what I still have to do then? That’s right—laundry, dishes, cooking, and general clean up. For a few days in the hotel, I picked up mess but never once pulled out the bleach or loaded a dishwasher or washing machine. Of course, we carried home a trash bag full of laundry that I washed the night we got home, but I had a few days of respite.

1. Being together: Our house is pretty small, so it’s not like we spread out and never see each other when we’re home. Still, there’s something special about experiencing time together without my husband heading off to work, propping up our feet and watching a movie together, making plans for the day, and sharing in a nighttime snack.

School starts up for the year far too soon. So does ballet, play practice, activities at church and more.

When life gets packed so full, it’s so hard to appreciate every little thing—like escalators and the electronic keys in hotels and cocoa cups with spill-proof lids. We lose child-like wonder and excitement about the little things

Almost ten years ago, I held my first baby girl in a hospital room and now, after what seems like a blink of the eyes, I’m about to send her off to fourth grade.

How does it all happen so fast? How do we miss so much?

In her book, A Sudden Glory, Sharon Jaynes says:

“The travesty is that we allow the busyness of life to crowd out the Source of life. As the Psalmist wrote, ‘We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing’ (Psalm 39:6 NLT).”

All this month, I’m learning to Retreat and Refresh so I can pursue the presence of God. And I’m thinking of Moses, who prayed: “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12).

We can pray the same.

Lord, help us to number our days. Help us to make each one count. Don’t let a single one slip by us unnoticed and unappreciated.

Don’t let us ever miss or skip time—One, two . . . twenty . . .fifty–and not be able to account for the days in between.

Don’t let us get so wrapped up in doing laundry and dishes that we forget to thank you for the clothes and food you’ve given us.

Help us not to get so focused on the minutiae of everyday worries and stressors that we forget to have joy.

Show us how to slow down each day, rest, pay attention—yes, notice Your grace, Your beauty, and the gifts You’ve placed in our lives.

To sit with our children a moment longer. Linger over a cup of tea. Breathe in the scent of a garden. Notice the beauty. Enjoy deep down the laughter of our children.

Amen.

To read more about this 12-month journey of pursuing the presence of Christ, you can follow the links below! Won’t you join me this month as I ‘Retreat and Refresh?

Originally posted August 31, 2012

Heather C. King – Room to Breathe

"He's solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul" Psalm 62:1-2 (MSG).

Category: Thoughts from my Quiet Time

Cancelling the Parenting Magazine

Epic Failures; Epic Grace

14 Bible Verses and a Prayer on Waiting

This is the Word I Have to Write on a Flashcard to Learn

5 Prayers Before the School Year Begins

What My Monday Soul Needs to Know

Stopping at the Krispy Kreme

How Many Seashells Did I Bring Home from Vacation?

12 Bible Verses for a Spiritual Retreat

The Top 10 Best Things About Hotels (Says the Mom Away From Home)

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