After 9:30 p.m. Mommy Needs a Time-Out

April 8, 2015April 3, 20152 Comments

My daughter emerges from her room at 9:30 p.m.

It is now more than an hour past bedtime.

Showers have been taken. Teeth have been brushed. I have reviewed my daughters’ Scripture memory verses for the week, prayed with them, read them the Bible passage for the night, kissed them on rosy cheeks and sent them merrily to bed.

Or something like that.

But she re-emerges at 9:30 to tell me a play-by-play account of the book she is reading. She is a detail person. I’m pretty sure she is telling me exactly what occurs on each page of this 200-page book.

At first, I nod patiently and politely. I do, after all, love her. And, I do share her passion for reading.

Moms should be good listeners. Moms should make sure their children feel heard and understood.

After a while, though, I hug her close and slowly nudge her back to the bedroom while she is still giving a steady stream of book-narration, and I promise to listen more tomorrow.

Because seriously, it has been loud in my house tonight.

I have helped with homework for 3 children, fed and diapered and carried the crying baby around the house, made dinner, cleaned up dinner, packed lunches, supervised piano practice for 3 kids, sent 3 daughters in for showers and bathed one baby, combed tangles out of hair, folded laundry, read books, brainstormed ideas for a project on Ponce de Leon, prepped backpacks for the next day, laid out the outfits for tomorrow morning, signed agendas and math logs and reading logs, and threatened older children with punishment for any further bedtime delays.

You know, what moms do every night.

At one point, I had a baby crying, a child watching YouTube videos with bracelet-making instructions, one child practicing the piano, and one child asking me to quiz her on Life Cycles because her science test is in two days.

I know you all probably think when I’m in my minivan, I like to blast that worship music right loud and sing at the top of my singing lungs.

But you’d be wrong.

If I have the luxury of just 10 minutes in a car without a child talking to me, I turn the radio off.

O-F-F

Off.

Because, some times, a soul just needs some quiet.

Jesus knew it. After days of constant ministry, a needy mob following them around incessantly, clamoring for help and help and help all the time help, the disciples needed a change:

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest” (Mark 6:31 NIV).

A quiet place.

Jesus knows we need that some times.

And it’s not just a break from noise we need.

We also need to come away with Him.

We need to not answer those e-mails, or check that Facebook, or answer that phone.

Our souls need beauty and filling up after relentlessly pouring out to others. We need Jesus and yet so often we choose to fill that void with anything and everything else.

But as Shellie Rushing Tomlinson writes in Heart Wide Open:

He will ruin you for anything else this world has to offer. However, it is a sweet ‘ruination,’ because the weaker the hold temporal things have on us, the freer we are to lose ourselves in the One who placed eternity in our hearts.

And here’s the hard discovery, that sometimes when I finally sit in relative silence, it rocks my restless soul more than any amount of noise.

That’s when I know I’m an addict, needing that next fix of adrenaline as desperately as others feel the shaking need for another drink.

I’ve become addicted to the rush of activity, addicted to the pride of feeling needed, addicted to the super-hero powers of rescuing people from crises all….day….long, addicted to noise and distraction and busyness.

So, that quiet falls uncomfortably on my shoulders. I fidget. I feel the need to hop up at the slightest distraction.

I need days to unplug, times off of Facebook, off of Twitter, and away from television, and this takes discipline.

I find sometimes that the quiet (in the rare moments when there actually is quiet) is awkward and uncomfortable.

And I find some times that the quiet is refreshing like an ice-cold lemonade after a couple of hours of yard work.

Either way, this is what I know—the quiet is what this soul needs.

Originally published March 26, 2014

Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer and worship leader. Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness. Her book, Ask Me Anything, Lord: Opening Our Hearts to God’s Questions, is available now! To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.

Book Review: Be The Message Devotional

April 7, 2015April 3, 2015Leave a comment

Be the Message Devotional: A 30-day Adventure in Changing the World Around You
by Kerry and Chris Shook

Most devotionals follow a fairly standard, tried-and-true format and most focus on the intimacy of your one-on-one relationship with God. Kerry and Chris Shook’s new 30-day devotional, Be the Message, helps readers make the transition from personal faith to faith-applied. This follows through with their theme in the book, Be The Message, about how the gospel is not so much about what we say, but about how we live.

Each day’s reading is short and to-the-point. The daily reading includes sections called: Open Yourself to a dynamic encounter with God, Open God’s Word to hear God’s message, Open Your Mind to understand God’s message here and now, Open Your Heart to the divine whisper, Open Your Life to God’s transforming power, Open Your Arms to a world that needs to receive God’s incarnate message through you.

Most of the lessons about the Scripture are fairly standard, inspirational, but not particularly surprising, eye-opening or fresh. However, this devotional would be great for someone who wants to learn about loving others, serving others, and living out the Gospel through service, compassion, and practical acts of mercy. This is what sets this devotional apart.

I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review and the opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

12 Bible Verses on Fresh Starts and New Beginnings

April 6, 2015January 2, 201821 Comments

Isaiah 43:18-9 ESV
“Remember not the former things,
    nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
    and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 65:17 NIV
See, I will create
new heavens and a new earth.
The former things will not be remembered,
nor will they come to mind.
Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
²³they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Ezekiel 11:18-19 ESV
And when they come there, they will remove from it all its detestable things and all its abominations. ¹⁹And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh,
Ezekiel 36:26 ESV
And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you.And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
Romans 6:3-4 NIV
Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
Ephesians 4:22-24 ESV
to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, ²³and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, ²⁴and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Philippians 3:13-14 NIV
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Colossians 3:9-10 NIV
Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices ¹⁰and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
1 Peter 1:3 ESV
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
Revelation 21:4-5 ESV
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more,neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”⁵And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

You can stop trying so hard

April 3, 2015April 3, 20154 Comments

It started with a road trip.

Our intention had been to make the 3-hour drive as a family, but a stomach virus incapacitated 3 of my 4 children, so it was just mom and daughter in a minivan for hours.

We had plenty of time to talk about life, love, growing up and superior travel snacks (AKA Twizzlers).

On the way home, we stopped to get her a hamburger. My daughter looked at the 16-year-old-ish girl at the drive-thru window and asked, “Mom, did you work or have a job as a teenager?”

She’s 10. She’s thinking ahead. This is a good thing.

I tell her how I volunteered at my local library for years, babysat, and then my first real job was working as a legal assistant at a law firm.

“WHOA.” She stops with her hamburger halfway to her mouth.

“How was that your first job? You mean you didn’t work at a McDonald’s or anything?”

Yes, how did that happen?

Was it my eye-catching resume, my extraordinary job interviewing skills, or some career-launching internship that I had snagged in middle school?

Nope.

I tell her:

“It was God. I just worked hard at whatever God gave me to do and then He opened up new opportunities.”

Be faithful with what you’re doing right now and leave the future to Him.

That’s what I tell her.

I’m a striver.

I’m a do everything you’re supposed to do and more, work until you collapse from exhaustion, pack every day totally full and then spill the to-do list over onto the next day—kind of person.

As a mom, I fight Pinterest-depression because of everything a good mom is “supposed” to be doing.

As a writer, I’m supposed to Tweet and Facebook post hourly, pin on Pinterest 3 times a day, read 5 or so blog posts every morning and comment to them, write my own blog post every day, guest post to other blogs, send query letters and book proposals out monthly, write articles, write books, attend writer’s conferences, and read and study enough to make sure I have something worth saying.

But I fail.

My house is not organized.

I lose my temper with my kids at times.

I let my kids play outside some days instead of making them practice the piano.

I do not schedule enough play dates.

I occasionally forget to sign my kids’ agenda for school (shocker!)

I am sometimes too-much-mom and not-enough-wife.

And as a writer, well, let’s just say Twitter and I aren’t the best of friends.

So I’m talking with my daughter in the minivan about my first job, using the moment to teach her, but I’m also speaking truth to my own weary heart.

You don’t have to be a striver.

God doesn’t ask you or expect you to do everything.

He asks that we faithfully do what He’s called us to do. Just that.

When we pack extra burdens down onto our shoulders of ‘must-do’s,’ should-do’s’ and ‘have-to’s,’ we collapse under the weight.

I’ve spread out face down at God’s feet before and said exactly what those exhausted disciples said:

“We worked hard all night…and we caught nothing” Luke 5:5

They had stayed up all night fishing, working hard with nothing to show for it. Their fishing expedition was a capital-F Failure.

Their nets weren’t faulty. Their boat wasn’t to blame. They had the necessary skills. The location was fine.

They did what they were ‘supposed’ to do.

They had slaved away trying to force success and make something happen, all in their own effort, trusting in their own skill, know-how and sweat.

In the morning when Jesus told them to go put out those same nets off the side of that same boat, they probably blinked tired eyes in disbelief.

But Peter promised to obey:

“You say to put the nets in the water, so I will” (Luke 5:5).

God brings abundance when we bring obedience.

They didn’t have to fish all night. They only needed to fish when and where Jesus said. That’s when He loaded them down with enough fish to snap their nets.

That Psalm we always go to that says, “Be still and know that I am God…” Here it is in the NASB:

Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (Psalm 46:10).

Cease striving.

He’s going to be exalted.

Not because we worked hard to exalt Him.

Because He is God.

What has God called you to do today?

Do that. Put your whole heart into it. Be faithful and passionate and focused. Be obedient.

Trust Him with the future and stop trying so hard.

Here’s the Good News

April 1, 2015March 31, 20152 Comments

“Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You with the oil of gladness more than Your companions”
Psalm 45:7

Last year, I glued googly eyes to all of the food in our refrigerator, swapped my kids’ clothes around into different dressers, and stuffed toilet paper into their shoes.

This year, I swapped out all of their regular shoes for doll shoes and acted like they shrunk over night.

I drew terrified faces on the hard-boiled eggs I packed in their lunch box with the message “Don’t eat me!”

And, I lined up their stuffed animals in the bathroom as if they were all waiting for the toilet.

I hate pranks. It’s just not my kind of humor.

But I knew my kids would get a kick out of my April Fool’s fun, especially my one girl. Maybe my other kids would laugh at mom’s silliness, but this girl of mine would cackle.

So, I’ve been lightening up a little and celebrating April Fool’s Day as a mom.

It’s because I love my kids and I love this wacky, quirky, silly-joke-telling, comic-book-reading girl of mine.

Maybe she teaches me a little how to choose joy.

This world can batter us and beat us with depressing news and overwhelming sorrow.

But we have Good News.

God Himself came to earth in human flesh, received the punishment we deserve for our sin, died in our place and rose again, offering us eternal life with Him in heaven.

This Good News should root itself deep into our hearts and make our lives blossom with joy.

It’s an excitement that maybe the world just doesn’t get. Maybe they don’t understand.

Maybe we miss it sometimes ourselves. We talk about Easter or new life in Christ like it’s blah, blah, blah….words in a book, something that happened a long time ago, information for our head never impacting our heart and life.

Unfortunately, we become immune over time to the message’s impact. We forget the joy. We forget the wonder and excitement.

And when we imagine Jesus Himself healing people and teaching them, so often we picture Him as a melancholy Savior, all staid, straight-laced and serious.

Surely, though, he must have smiled a bit as Nicodemus puzzled out the meaning of “born again.”

When Jesus deftly sidestepped the theological traps laid by the Pharisees and Sadducees, I imagine He did it with an internal grin.

As He delivered the revolutionary Sermon on the Mount, Jesus could not have been a boring monotone preacher. He held the crowd’s attention for two solid chapters worth of teaching in Matthew 5-7. There must have been some joy there!

And I hardly think children would climb all over Jesus’ lap if He frowned and scowled and scolded.

Jesus is a joy-filled Savior teaching us to live with the joy of God’s presence.

Not that our life circumstances always make joy easy. Sometimes we feel like our “cup runneth over” and sometimes we feel like our cup is all poured out. What then?

Nehemiah faced a crowd of Israelites who felt too overcome by their sin, too full of repentant sorrow to feel joy. Yet he told them,

“Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).

We have our weak days, our weary days, our times of feeling out of control, confused, worried uncertain, scared, sad, and broken into a million pieces.

Yet, the joy of the Lord is our strength.

It’s not the fake, paste-on-a-smile joy or the pretend-like-the-world-is-perfect joy.

It’s living fully confident that God is sovereign. We are in His hands and His hands can be trusted.

That’s what gives us strength to face each day, that quiet assurance of His love and His might.

So, we rejoice together when we consider the Good News of the Gospel.

We rejoice in God’s presence, in His accessibility to us at all times, in His compassion, in His faithfulness and unfailing love.

We rejoice in the journey of our faith, knowing that wherever He takes us, He is present there with us, even in darkness and long journeys through the valley.

Still we have joy.

“always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4, NLT)

10 Activities to teach kids about the true meaning of Easter

March 30, 2015March 26, 2015Leave a comment

I’ve been on a bit of a Mom Quest these past few years. We’ve never been an Easter bunny family who lines up for pictures at the mall or decorated the house with rabbits, chicks and eggs every spring.

Our goal as parents is to keep the focus on Jesus’ death and resurrection. That’s what we want our kids to remember, ask questions about, investigate and take to heart this season.

But when you bypass the bunnies in the Wal-Mart aisle, you can end up with Easter looking something like this:

Go to church in a pretty dress. The end.

I want to teach my kids that Jesus is the Reason for THIS Season, too, and that needs to be a big deal. Not just preaching at them; engaging them.

So, I’ve collected ideas that we do, some every year, some every few years to keep things new and interesting. Here are some of our favorite ways to focus on Jesus this holiday with some new additions since last year’s post!!!

Movie time: One of the most amazing discipleship resources we’ve found in the last few years is Phil Vischer’s What’s in the Bible?. The video series manages to offer an amazingly comprehensive overview of Scripture and answer some of kids’ most-asked questions about God and His Word. You can find many resources for teaching kids about Scripture on their website.

Choose a Bible reading plan for your family: We’ve found that reading the Bible itself together is often far more effective than many children’s devotionals available. If your kids are still young, of course, then a good children’s Bible or simple book about Easter would be a good place to start. You can check out The Jesus Storybook Bible for late-preschool to early elementary age children especially. Now that my kids are old enough, we’ve begun doing more and more Scripture reading as a family from the ‘regular Bible’ (AKA–not a story Bible). Right now, we’re reading through the book of Mark with my older daughters taking turns reading aloud.

Click here to print the Bible Reading plan: 30 Days in the Book of Mark.

You can also check out shorter plans and devotionals specifically for families in the YouVersion Bible app or you can download a Holy Week Devotional pack with Scripture readings, discussion guides and coloring pages from the What’s in the Bible site here.

Resurrection Eggs: It’s an oldie but a goodie, a classic that’s been around since I was a kid. I love the fact that the children drive the discussion in this activity. They open 12 eggs in a specific order. Each egg holds a symbol of an event in the Passion week. My kids tell what they think it might be about (the praying hands for the night Jesus prayed in the garden or the coins that Judas received to betray Jesus), and the booklet directs us to Scripture to fill in any blanks. You can buy your own set of pre-made Resurrections here or you can print the pictures that go with the story for free here and use your own plastic eggs.Empty Tomb Snack: This was so fun and only took a few minutes. Each of my kids could basically put the pieces of the snack together. I didn’t tell them what we were making, just gave them directions along the way. Once they put the Oreo in place, they knew we had made the empty tomb. Added bonus: Eating a yummy Entenmann’s chocolate doughnut (a secret passion of mine). You’re supposed to use shredded coconut dyed green for the grass, but coconut isn’t my favorite. So, I opted for green icing.

Butterflies: I order a cup of painted lady butterfly caterpillars every year from Insect Lore. We learn about how butterflies transform while also talking about a long-standing symbol of the resurrection—how the caterpillar goes into the chrysalis and seems to be dead, but then emerges with new life even more beautiful than before. It’s science and Scripture together at its best.

Resurrection Rolls: This was a new discovery this year and what a treat! It’s especially good to do on Holy Saturday, talking about preparing Jesus’ body for burial, placing him in the tomb and sealing it up tightly. When you open the rolls, they are empty inside. A great surprise for kids. It’s easy, too, with crescent rolls, melted butter, marshmallows, and cinnamon and sugar. Bam! Here are some great step-by-step directions.

Easter garden: This idea has gone viral on my Facebook and Pinterest feeds, so we’ve started planting our own little Easter garden each year. My daughters and I have the best time setting up our little potted garden. After all, it feels good to get your hands into a some potting soil in anticipation of spring! The grass grew very quickly, though, so I’d likely wait until closer to Easter to plant our garden again next year (about a week in advance). I loved that my kids were asking questions about the three crosses, about the size of the stone covering the tomb, and how it was rolled away.

Lamb cupcakes: These cupcakes aren’t just cute, they remind us that Jesus is the lamb of God. Just top a cupcake with white icing (I’m a cream cheese icing fan, personally) and cover with mini marshmallows and one large marshmallow cut in half for the lamb’s head. The kids mostly love the cupcake, but it’s also a great opportunity to talk about the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world and why Jesus was the perfect sacrifice.

Jelly Bean prayer: This is truly simple and sweet. I put a handful of jelly beans in a baggie (at least one of each color) and include this little poem to walk my kids through the Gospel. And I sneak a few of my favorite flavors to eat while I’m packing the bag. That’s a mom bonus. Here’s where you can find a free printable for the prayer.

Resurrection Tree: I haven’t tried this one, but Christina Fox over at To Show Them Jesus shows how she makes a Resurrection Tree with her kids during the 40 days of Lent. She includes the Bible passages they read together and the picture/object they use to create an accompanying ornament to go on their tree. You can check out her post here.

Of course, we don’t miss out on the basics like going to church and specifically talking about the true meaning of Easter with our kids!

So, how do you teach your kids about Jesus’ death and resurrection during this season?

Awaken to the holiness of God (so He doesn’t have to wake you up)

March 27, 2015March 26, 20156 Comments

My daughter has one default answer to the question, “How are you?”

Most people default to, “Fine,” “Good,” “Okay,” or even “Great!”

I’ve heard people answer, “better than can be expected.”

And even, “blessed” or “still alive.”

Not her. She has one response, “My tummy hurts.”

You may catch her in the middle of jumping up and down or running full-force outside on the playground. Even then, if you ask how she’s feeling, she’ll pull a long face, drop her hand to her stomach and groan out an agonized, “My tummy hurts.”

Sometimes she’ll get really wild and crazy and say something totally unexpected like, “I have a headache.” That’s just to keep us on our toes.

But when she started complaining this week of a stomachache, I fell into my normal mom-stance of skeptic complacency.

Sure, a stomachache. So what else is new?

But it was new and different. It was for real this time, a true illness that would confine her to the couch with a bucket for three days and counting.

She sure showed me!

How complacency blinds us and binds us! One minute we’re living out the daily routine blindfolded and half checked out and the next minute we’re thrown awake, eyes wide-open, forced to pay attention.

Oh, for real this time. This isn’t the normal. This is new.

And we need to be shaken awake.

God didn’t design us to live life and live faith halfway asleep and mostly disengaged.

He wants our full attention.

So, He’s not above surprising us sometimes.

Maybe David needed a surprise like that.

When King David announced that the Ark of the Lord should be brought home to Jerusalem, the priests should have followed proper protocol.

Instead, they loaded what probably seemed like an old and generally meaningless relic from bygone days onto a cart and sent it on down the road.

They broke the rules. God told them exactly how to handle His presence—carried on poles on the shoulders of priests, not bumbling down a bumpy road in a cart entrusted to animals.

So, when the Ark started to tumble off onto the ground, Uzzah the priest reached out to catch it, thinking surely he was doing the right thing, the good thing, the honorable thing.

But he was struck dead by the holy might of Almighty God.

No one should have touched the Ark. Not ever.

Max Lucado writes:

Uzzah should have known this. He was a priest, a Koathite priest, a descendent of Aaron himself. The ark had been kept in the house of his father, Abinadab. He had grown up with it. Which may be the best explanation for his actions…..The message: don’t grow lax before the holy. God won’t be loaded on convenient wagons or toted about by dumb animals….

King David snapped to awake. Of course, he snapped to anger also, exploding at God about the injustice of Uzzah’s death.

And then He worshiped in awe.

The truth is, all those years living in the same house as the Ark hadn’t impressed Uzzah; it had made him complacent, like he was handling little more than a dust-covered knick-knack from a living room shelf.

All those years living in the same house with my daughter, and she still manages to surprise me.

All these years of marriage, I still discover my husband and could there be any better than falling and falling and falling in love?

And, all these years with Jesus, surely He still surprises. And amazes.

Just when you think you know what size box God fits in, He loves to show off His might.

Just when you think you know how far faith will take you, He asks you to go farther.

Just when you think you understand how deep His love is, He draws you down deeper.

David’s praise became rooted in a God who is great beyond comprehension:

Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;

his greatness no one can fathom (Psalm 145:3 NIV, emphasis mine).

God sure can surprise us.

In fact, He can shock us right out of our socks and shoes some times.

How much better, though, to lean in and listen….

To quiet our restless hearts…..

To be still….

To pause and deeply look….

To awaken to the holiness of God and live life in awe of His presence, expecting His glory this very day, this very hour, this very moment.

Motivate Your Child | Book Review

March 26, 2015March 25, 2015Leave a comment

Motivate Your Child: A Christian Parent’s Guide to Raising Kids Who Do What They Need to Do Without Being Told
by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN

In their book, Motivate Your Child, Turansky and Miller know just how to get the attention of any parent. They give scenarios we can all relate to, like trying to rush our kids out the door in the morning and being tired of saying the same things every day, “put your shoes on….brush your hair…..don’t hit your sister.” Or dealing with kids perpetually fighting in the back of the minivan. Many parenting approaches offer more of a method or formula to address problem behaviors. This book focuses instead on parenting the heart of your child, which relies more on prayerful discernment and customizing your parenting to match your child.

I likened a lot of their advice to parenting with the end in mind. I don’t need to just address the current behavior of picking on a little sister. I’ve been learning to say to my daughter, “I know you want to be kind. What does that look like? What do we need to do to fix this?” Consequences match the behavior and the child and the ultimate end of Christ working in her heart and transforming her life.

In Part 1 of the book, they focus on moral development in children and spend a great deal of time talking about the conscience (as distinct from the Holy Spirit, whose role they also discuss in parenting Christian kids). In a no-conscience approach to parenting, you have to be your child’s conscience with bribes and consequences as your main tools. But our goal as parents is to foster independence, so the book focuses on teaching a child about integrity, honor, compassion, selflessness, responsibility—the root issues—and complementing that with consequences as needed.

In Part 2, they discuss spiritual development of children where they cover important topics such as salvation in young children and how to ‘go solo’ as a single parent or perhaps the only Christian parent in a home. Their advice for moms especially who aren’t sure how much of a leadership role to take in family devotions is some of the best I’ve ever read. They also talk a lot about how to disciple your children at home (and not just rely on the church to do it for you) and how any family can find a way to establish family nights and devotions/Scripture.

The book seemed like a perfect fit for me as I parent mostly elementary-age children, and I think it addresses issues well for tweens and teens also. However, the truth is that in the very early ages of parenting, mostly we really are just addressing behaviors. I need my child to obey my ‘no’ and that doesn’t normally require a great deal of conversation, questioning, or deep psychological work. Most of the techniques and suggestions they give seem more appropriate for kids 3 or 4 and older.

I liked the emphasis on parenting the heart of the child and I specifically leaned in anytime they talked about teaching siblings to love one another and show kindness to each other. That’s a need in my home! The truth is that this parenting model will take work and a great deal of discernment. It means making decisions for each individual child in each individual issue. It requires deeply knowing the heart of your child, especially your child’s weaknesses and propensity to sin so that you can come alongside God and address the needs there. It means using Scripture, not as a club to beat children into submission, but as a motivator and teacher of right and wrong. For parents of teens, it means using more of a coaching-style in parenting—asking questions, allowing some independence in safe ways and removing the freedom of independence as necessary. At any age, they suggest asking questions instead of telling your child what needs to happen or what needs to be done, such as “What are you missing? Do you see anything that needs to be picked up? How can you treat others the way the Bible tells you to treat them?”

This is not just time-outs and stickers and that’s what I love about it! I don’t want good, moral kids. I don’t want behavioral automatons. I don’t want kids who never make mistakes. I want kids who love Jesus and are thankful for His grace and are passionate for His Word. Christian parenting should be such a blessed responsibility and high calling and ultimately we rely on the Holy Spirit to help us as parents know how to draw our kids to Christ. I can see this being a parenting book I re-read in the future, gleaning tips for the moment and then coming back for more ideas as the needs change in my family.

When I Grow Up, I Want to Eat My Own Dinner

March 25, 2015March 26, 20154 Comments

I’m not sure that I’ve eaten more than a handful of my own meals actually on my own in over ten years.

I know maybe it’s not the absolute truth.

But it feels like the truth some days.

It’s as if whatever food I’m eating is a free-for-all for my children.

Sometimes I grab breakfast out of the cabinet and carry it to the minivan as we rush out the door. The very second I open the cereal bar, an alarm system must be triggered because children in all corners of the vehicle ask if they can have some.

Perhaps I should be grateful. Thank you, dear children, I did not actually need the calories from this breakfast-on-the-go anyway.

But there is something so illogical about this mothering phenomenon.

As soon as my children graduate from pureed squash in a jar to their very own mini-portions of actual human food, they want to have what I am eating from my very own plate.

Even though we are eating the same food.

The same food!!!!

I may have cut it up into non-chokeable portions before putting it on the highchair tray; nevertheless, my lasagna will taste the same as their lasagna.

And the Cheerios in my cereal bowl are (earth-shattering announcement, here) the same Cheerios that I put in my child’s bowl.

I know older moms are probably chuckling. Surely my own mom is. Because this is probably a universal mothering struggle going back generations upon generations.

Let’s face it, Eve should have gotten used to sharing her fruit with another person because once Cain and Abel came along, she’d never eat completely on her own again.

The thing is, my kids are buying into the same lie that trips us up all the time.

It’s the lie that whatever she has is better than what I have.

Maybe we’re even eating the same food.

Or maybe it really is different. Maybe she’s sitting down to steak and potatoes while we pick at boxed macaroni and cheese. Or maybe we’re the ones with the gourmet fare while she wolfs down some PB&J.

No matter what the dish, so often we just really want what she has.

We want the same. And we want it to be the same quality. And we want it to be the same amount.

We don’t trust God to care for us uniquely, personally, individually. We don’t trust Him enough to accept what He gives with gratitude, knowing that He loves us and cares for us, knowing that anything He gives us is far more than we deserve or merit.

I read in Numbers how Moses divied up supplies to the people of Israel.

He gave two carts and four oxen to the sons of Gershon.

He gave four carts and eight oxen to the sons of Merari.

He didn’t give any carts or oxen to the sons of Kohath.

Sounds like a rip-off. Sounds like a big, unfair, scam.

Those sons of Kohath could have raised a mighty fine protest about injustice and favoritism and the need for equal distribution of all goods.

But Moses gave out the oxen and the carts “according to their service,” and the sons of Kohath cared for “the holy objects, which they carried on the shoulder” (Numbers 7:7-9).

Every one of them received what they needed for their particular, God-chosen, unique job. He equipped them for their calling.

He does the same for us.

Some days, I’ll confess, it feels like I don’t have enough.

I don’t just mean material goods. I mean enough patience or enough time or enough patience or enough creativity or enough patience or enough sleep—or enough patience. Did I already mention that one?

So many others around me seem to have plates heaped full with the very gifts and traits I feel so desperately in need of.

But I take my need to Him.

Because I don’t need any thing. I don’t need a specific gifting or a particular object.

I don’t need to be the same or have the same as anyone else.

I need Jesus. He is enough for me.

He equips us for our calling.

Yes, He gives me all I need to do what He wants me to do right here in this moment.

I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” (Lamentations 3:24 NIV)

LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure (Psalm 16:5 NIV)

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever (Psalm 73:26 NIV).

You are my portion, LORD; I have promised to obey your words (Psalm 119:57).

15 Bible Verses on Serving Others

March 23, 2015March 23, 20153 Comments

Proverbs 11:25 ESV
Whoever brings blessing will be enriched,
and one who waters will himself be watered.
Matthew 20:28 NIV
just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
Matthew 23:11 NLT
The greatest among you must be a servant.
Matthew 25:35-40 ESV
For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
Mark 9:35 NIV
Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”
Mark 10:44-45 ESV
and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Luke 6:38 NIV
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
John 13:12-14 NIV
When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.
Acts 20:35 ESV
In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
Galatians 5:13-14 ESV
For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Ephesians 6:7 NIV
Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people,
Philippians 2:3 ESV
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Hebrews 13:16 NLT
And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God.
1 Peter 4:10
Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
1 John 3:18 NASB
Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.

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When I Grow Up, I Want to Eat My Own Dinner

I need Jesus. He is enough for me.

He equips us for our calling.

Yes, He gives me all I need to do what He wants me to do right here in this moment.

15 Bible Verses on Serving Others

My devotional for today:

My devotional for today:

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My devotional for today:

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Click here to print the Bible Reading plan: 30 Days in the Book of Mark.

My devotional for today:

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I need Jesus. He is enough for me.

He equips us for our calling.

Yes, He gives me all I need to do what He wants me to do right here in this moment.

My devotional for today:

My devotional for today: